Complain

I like to complain, I like it so much, I will complain about everything. I'll complain till you ears bleed. I complain so much, 7 eleven gave me a hamper for complaining and a direct line to their office HQ for Kajang. I am on Celcom bitchy list, since my calls are taken very fast. A computer store in The Mines gave me a certificate when I filed a complaint towards their employee.

I have few friends that I complain too. The good thing is, its mutual. They complain stuff back to me and I help them. Then, I complain about shit that happen and they help. However, there are the rare inviduals, that only  listen to my complains, but they never have anything to complain or bitch about. I am totally amazed by it.

One of those friend, claim that ignorance helps him to move and see clearer picture. Damn.. I thought ignorant, but I guess not ignorant enough of the minor details so that I can focus on the main details

College.. I got it.. 10 years of and counting....

So Drama

I am very dramatic, ask any of my close friends, online or offline. I am very dramatic, from the way I speak, handle myself and how I describe something. Its almost the end of the year, in fact, its just a few days away. What are the odds of all the drama that happened this year, all of it concentrated in just one month. One month full of things that disrupts a person life. Luckily I am still normal, well normal in a sense that I don't need drugs to function.. well at least not yet. I talked about it to my closest friends, sometimes I get the clearer picture and sometimes it gets jumbled up again. A friend told me not to think about it too much, but I can't. Too many things happened at once and all of it are just days if not weeks a part. A person can handle so much drama to themselves before their body starts to deteorate. Am I deteorating? A bit, there is suddenly stress acne coming out, losing my faith, doing incredibly stupid things or just blanking out. All of these shall end soon, hopefully with me being cheerfull and positve, or the very least alive.

*when life gives you lemons, make lemonade while you have Twitter, Facebook and blog diarrhea to permanently write what you feel,,

Ideal

We all have an ideal or a perfect view of everything. . Usually life does not work that way. My life for example is pretty screwed up in all 4 major parts which includes studies, work, friends and relationship. You know what?

It does not matter.

Yup, perhaps I complained to much today that I complained the negative out of me, perhaps its the really nice nasi dagang that I had for supper that gave me food poisoning, or perhaps I just started to enjoy everything that was given to me.

Or maybe I am just tired to be angry..

Owh what the heck. I'll take what's given to me, it can get worser..

Breakdown

Fuh!!.. Talk about a nervous breakdown yet again. I flipped over a pile of dirty clothes.. Yup.. definitely was stressed out over a few things. I feel calmer now, perhaps after hanging out with a few friends, just chillin and stuff.

Things are complicated and probably will still be after this. I must learn to just ignore it. Details should only be left in thesis writing, not in life. I should enjoy what I have now. I promise I will, to the friend who said to me, I am not a player, I am just a nice guy, please punch me, if I start to whine..

Seriously.. I would punch me, myself again for not being thankful...

Laundry Day

I love doing laundry. I love looking at washing machines on display. I love watching the clothes agitated in the washer. . Front loader provide the best view with its clear glass. I could sit there for the whole washing cycle and be mesmerized.

I get excited over a new detergent powderI love how detergent and soap is made, and determined to make my own once I have the money to buy the materials. I can make my own soap according to my own preferences

I like laundry so much, I even planned on what I would wash today. Heck I even wanted to test out the new settings that I have not tried.

You could say, I got it from my mother. She loves laundry. My mother loves it so much, she decided to wash my clothes, which I specifically said to her, to not do, because I would do it. She refuses too, she just could not help her self to my dirty laundry. I told her again and again, not to do it. I think I have to resort to hide my dirty laundry. I do not like her doing it anymore. Lots of clothes were bleached, dyed with indigo blue, ripped, dyed pink due to other clothes bleeding, buttons came out, collars torn.

You see I blame her because right now I am so upset, I can't write anything short to be put on twitter or facebook status, instead I am writing how I am upset, she washed my clothes??? I am so fucked up now!!! to be upset over laundry that she did. Thanks Ma, I think you over did the education on laundry.......

I am still pissed off even after writing this and after doing the fuckin laundry by hand..

I need to see a therapist... clearly something is wrong

Just Saying

Just a fun video I made for a friend and for those who are stumbled this not so humble blog

Being yourself?

People say to be yourself,  I say, be a better self. I don't want to be the whiney, negative, sloppy and lazy  bastard. I want to be sure, positive, presentable, and diligent gentlemen. I try to change it, little by little. Yes, its true, its a big change, but having to actually like what I have now and instead of waiting till I loose weight/older/finish study is a better choice for now. Accept what I have now, and prepare for the future

Thougts

Darn, not enough post and way to much complaining. So sorry you have to read this, but thank you if do. Stuff has been happening and it has made rethink of of myself. I used to have this iron hold view of how my life would turn out, but it seems each year something new decides to pop out. I am 27 but I feel I just got a taste of the world. It’s just on the tip of my fingers and I am both excited and scared. Everyone else has already taken the leap to adulthood, I don’t feel like one at all, perhaps the lack of real world responsibility?  Perhaps it is. 27 and still studying, and I am not even a bookworm whereas I should be. Kinda scary not knowing what I want. I feel like I need to list down every single details of what I should do the whole day, so I won’t go off track. Its like how I pay attention in class, not by listening, because I don’t listen, but by writing, When I write, it gives me something to do and concentrate while keeping my mind firmly held to the ground. Ah well, there other thing, like second thoughts… that’s a whole other story…

Style 2

I finally went to a friends wedding, but only because it was a short drive away from home and the bride to be gave me the invitation by hand. What to do, I guess I have no reason to not go.

After the sudden talk from my friends about my sloppy, don't give a f#$k attitude towards clothing, I decided to give it a change one more time. I do have nice stuff in my closet, its just that when I go out to meet them, I don't wear it. I just grab the comfortable stuff in the closet. Yes comfortable means worn out, loose, and baggy. Maybe I should just wear to intentionally piss them off :p

Yes I admit sometimes I wear really ugly stuff because I needed some comfort during times of sadness, but that does not mean what I wear reflect what I feel all the time. I don't feel sad wearing them, I only feel sad when people complain about it.

Ah well, I just gotten my trousers back from the tailors for some mending. I think the tailor was really experienced because I wanted to change my comfort jeans into my other fitted jeans, I even had a pair brought it to mend the button as an example. What the tailor did was, he took 2 inches off the waist and 1 inch of the the legs. The jeans fit much better and the waist is just nice, but most important of all, that comfort, secure, protected feeling was still there. Still my pair of jeans.

I think I will take my tailor philosophy of my wardrobe, there is so much I could follow from my friends, but I am the one who would wear it in the end. I will make it my own. Worse come to worst, another brave soul comes and try to change my wardrobe again. Good luck to who ever you are out there.

**its difficult for them to understand the difficulty since they buy stuff off the rack and fits them perfectly, with my body shape, its a challenge.

Chuck Norris jeans, guaranteed to fit you or he will come by and fit you in the jeans himself.

Style

Blog this, rant this already and most people kinda know how I view style or to put it in better words how the way I dress myself. Its probably somewhere hidden beneath all of my previous posts. Yesterday another friend tried to upgrade my wardrobe again. He said he wanted me to dress better and have a sense of style. He was rambling on an on about a "sempoi style", a street style, a "cute" style and among other things. He also told me not to condem his choice of of stuff for me to wear. Little does he know about the thing he is about to get himself into.

As we were rummaging The Mines shopping centre, we went store hopping and looked at the stuff on display and went to countless racks of clothing. He explained to me how match the shirts and trousers. How the length of a shirt should never reach below the rear pocket of your jeans, if the pocket is external or sew on the trousers. If the pocket is hidden inside the pants, its okay for it to be a bit longer. Cartoons or graphic character on a T-shirt fits should be matched to jeans. Short trousers should be slightly below the knee. Inseams of jeans should be longer and loose. Jeans should have a faded wash. I think phase out when he was talking about colour and what colours are old looking and what are not.

Of course he was doing all these references on his 60kg, 162cm body and not my 94kg 161cm body. So what  happened was, not many things fit properly actually and he was kinda frustrated. It made me feel good, because only now he knew why I wore certains things certain way. The challenge was to find me stylish clothes that could fit me now. The easy way out was to tell me to loose 10kg so that clothes fit me better, which like the advice of every stylish person I know.

I read this one book, a very clever written book, but it was only targetted to women, which is too bad really. If I am not mistaken, the book is called What Not To Wear? or is it Wear According To Your Body Type? either way its basically a book helping women of not just typical Pear, Ladder or Hour Glass shape, but those with a vase shape, lollypop shape, cone shape and etc. Its great because now truly every women of every imaginable shape could wear something that is flattering to them.

Me? I am hard person to style. I am short, about 161cm, I have a  40 inch waist that can go up or down an inch depending on the time of day, I have a wide shoulder and smaller hips which means most of my weight is carried about my waist. My hair is very curly, almost "old  chinese ladies perm" curly. I have a huge head which is a problem when it comes to finding glasses and hats. I have blacken elbow, knee and the joint at the side of my feet while the sole of my feet is rough, dry and cracked, way beyond what you see in cracked heels cream.. Yes its a challenge to style me, many people have tried and got frustrated.

I am actually quite open to the options that they gave me, and most of them thought I would cringe at their choices. However once they say the style they have in their head, does not actually fit me. They will think twice.

So far these are the advice my stylish friends gave me, perhaps you know them already.

• My sister told me, when buying an article of clothing, accesories or shoes, look at the details of them. Details makes the item interesting and stylish.
• Friend A told me to find shirts that has the line or stiching that connects the shirt to the sleaves falls on my shoulder that connects to my arms and that sleaves should not reach below my elbow
• Frienemy B told me shoes define a person, if you actually paid attention to nice shows, somehow you are already paying lots of attention to what you wear.
• Friend C told me the bottom of T- shirts should fall between the rear exposed pocked, if the pocket is hidden, it can fall lower. Buttoned shirts with a square bottom should could be worn untucked with khakis, however you can only wear jeans with buttoned shirts with a rounded bottom.
• My mother just told me to stop wearing clothes that looked like that have been worn a million times...
• Friend A and C told me I should stick up plastic into my eyes each day (wear contacts lenses instead of glasses)

In the end, friend B asked me want I do usually looked when I buy clothes. I said, comfort, then he replied, "you just don't care how it looks don't you". Afraid not.  The only thing I am really concerned about my clothes, is whether its stenched of B.O or damp dirty cloth, followed my whether its stained or not. You can be really good looking and dressed like you just got out of a photoshoot, but if you stank like hell.. its not worth it..

Kevin James is the proof that black and loose colored clothing are a large man best friends and beautiful women do appreaciate a man's sense of humor

Objective

My mother came knocking into my room the other day and then suddenly yelled that my room smells and I need to send my dirty clothes to the hamper in the wet kitchen while holding her wallet, enveloped and a hand full of cash.

I quickly cut her off and said "Ma, please focus, stay on your objective and the thing that you need from me" It turns out she wanted me to get the car washed and buy my dad some Kenny Roger's muffin. See how quickly a person diverts their attention at something new?

It turns out my objectives has changed too. I am no longer the same person that just registered in UPM in 2007. Things changed, people changed, but most importantly of all, I changed. Even if you look at my blog, you can see how things have changed based on the things that I write.

As much as I love to write all kinds of crap and gossip in here, people do actually read my log and close people that is. So not everything can be written and everything has to be edited out so that some secrets are best left a secret.

I used to be so pissed when people don't have the time for me, but now it  seems that I don't have time for people. I actually have something to do now, and I don't have all the free time in the world anymore. This is like so 360 degrees different before. How life has changed..

3 years ago during a family vacation. Ugly glasses, bad hair, in general just a real bad presentation of myself to the world. How things are much more different now.

Reality Show

Do you like reality shows? I do. Its kinda fun to see what other people are up to in real life. However, we cannot be too gullible. Even though its reality, its still a show, and when we have show we need to have directors and producers, among other things. This means everything is scripted and edited to the way that we want. That also means, there must be something in that particular person's life that is worth editing.

I think my life would be something worth editing into a reality show. Heck, my sister even agrees the same thing, that our family should be in a reality show. I know these past 4 days was one insane and unbelievable events happening one after another, definitely worth watching for.

Insane, out of this world, gullible, and unrealistic thinking? Perhaps..

The Social Network

I was one the lucky ones who won tickets to see The Social Network, the crowd also included Hitz.FM listeners that won the contest too. This movie starring Jessie Eisenberg (who also starred in the movie Zombieland and strangely looks like Michael Cera) is a movie about how Facebook was founded and how Mark Zuckerberg became the youngest billionaire (dammit he is my age :( and I haven't started working yet). This movie was actually based on a book called "The Accidental Billionaires" by Ben Mezrich, who wrote the book based on Eduardo Saverin guides and other people around Zuckerberg except Zuckerberg himself. As you can see in the film, it depics Zuckerberg as nerd, a hacker, a thief, an asshole, a genius, an opportunist, a backstabber and a billionaire. So definitely not Zuckerberg friendly, heck even Zuckerberg said most of the stuff in the movie was not true. Hey, if I was depicted as badly as he was in the movie, I would say the same thing too.

Its fun to see how Facebook changed our lives, even though there is Myspace and Friendster offering the same thing. Quite funny how we deal our lives on the net. How we got closer and at the same time farther with people we know on Facebook. Facebook has become as common as the handphone/cellphone.

The thing I liked the most about Facebook compared to the other social networking sites, is that in Facebook, everything is clean and clear. Everybody's profile looked the same without annoying fonts and background imaged. Also the annoying music video, porn, sacred books, baby giggling videos played out loud, together when you open a friends profile. This is why I am on Facebook, like everyday just seeing what other people are up too.

This is a great movie to watch for people who are on Facebook, who wants to know, what is the behind story.

*After I finished the movie, I quickly sent it an sms to my Twitter account which is linked to my Facebook account to say I liked the movie. LOL. I wonder if other social networks would be made into a movie... haha.. they wish ;)

**Justin Timberlake acting is quite good in this movie. Disney's star, Brenda Song, got crazy in this movie, and doing things that Disney will never approved LOL.

Blogging is Fun

Blogging is fun and you can make money out of it. However there are times when its not fun anymore. Especially when you become obsessed with making money, winning contest or just trying to be famous. It takes the fun out of reading blogs when you are bombarded with advertisements plastered all over the page, it gets worse when the blogger begs you to click on the advertisements so that they can make money. Nuffnangs sent emails to everyone, to notify that this actions is wrong and will cause company to revert from showing ads in our blogs.

Regardless of that, sometimes I do fall into the that trap where I feel restricted in my own blog. Sometimes I feel so sad and depressed I just want to type away the sadness away but I feel like no one wants to read my crap. I forgotten, sometimes, those crappy emo writings have readers and some do actually reply to it

For me, blogging is a form of escapism, a place where you are free to write, a place where its your own reality show, where you are the director, writer, and actor. You tell the people want you want to tell, share what you feel like sharing and just blab away. I thinks its funny when there are people who reads these things that we write, regardless of it being of any importance.

I find it sad when people just want to make money and try desperately hard, like insanely absolutely hard. Chill people, I say, just relax and be cool with it. People will read your blog if its interesting. In fact when the blog is humble and honest, more people will read it.

 I can't deny though that if you are a hot girl, a good looking guy, incredibly rich, travels all over the world, funny, mingle with elite socialites and celebrities or you are a celebrity or socialite your self, your blog will be automatically famous :-p

What about regular people with boring lives? Just write it down and read other people blogs, perhaps the less famous ones, since they have the time to actually go to your blog and read it. You might get lucky and be features in a famous bloggers blog thus increasing your traffic! Muahahaha..

Well articles and blog entries on how to attract people to your blog comes in shiploads all over the Internet. My advice to other people and myself, is to keep it real. We are happy and excited, but we are also sad and anger. Although we must be careful who we sent on fire in our blogs, because it could bite you back in the rear end and set you back on fire. Keep it positive or keep it anonymous.

Hearing yourself

Have you ever listen to the way you talk?

Like record your self and then listen how you sounded. Weird right? The way that we hear our voice and the way we hear it from a recording is different. Its something to do with how our voice sounds coming out of our head instead of coming into our head. Strange right.

I have this strange way of speaking, perhaps not so strange, but to me, if I hear anyone else speaks the same way, I would say they are weird.

I am very nasal, meaning my voice seems to come out of my nose.
I chew my words, meaning I am lazy to pronounced it.
I have a relatively deep voice, when combined with talking through your nose, it becomes nasally boomy and incomprehensible.
I have "h" in wrong parts of the words and I exaggerated the word. entaH, takH de lah, kiteH, aderH.
It sounds fake and pretentious.
I mix English and Malay like you mixed a rojak..

Its funny, people in KL and Selangor, never really said anything, because that is how some people talk here? but try to live out of KL and Selangor, you would stick out like a sore thumb. Which is why, having a terrible fake accent, cancels the words out. Have you tried listening to me ruining a northern accent. TERRIBLE, not to mention my mother's Negeri Sembilan dialect...terrible..

I guess that just makes me the nasally, fake, broken Malay guy... probably why I prefer to stay in Kl...

Miss

Not sure about you, but if I were really lazy or careless in the morning. I would always miss parts of my eye lash. You know, how they say, Mr Sand Man pours a sleeping dust/sand in your eyes so that you would fall asleep, well those sand tend to accumulate a lot on my eye lashes. If I were careless, which I do almost all the time, these "sands" are still stuck in my eyes. Its so gross...

Not this Sandman

but this Sandman

Died Again

The thing that died today, has to be the car battery. Heck this was the second car in the house, that's batterie died on us. Luckily it died at home. So we called RSA who came to jump start the car and then off we go to get a new battery. I should get a jump cable myself now, since this happens quite often. Hey, when you got 6 cars in a home, every problem that can occur in a car increases 6 fold, and every car that is over 5 years or over 100k kilometres will also increase its problems. I am practically best friends with the mechanic that takes care of the 3 cars that does not have any warranty left

Irony

I try my best to minimize my glasses wearing time due to the fact it makes me aged a bit. Heck I try as much to shove a piece of plastic on my eye balls each day, like some of my friends do, although there has been days that I could not care less how I look as long I felt comfortable.

Geek Chic, is the name of a fashion style that includes these really thick and huge glasses frames. They don't even have any power in it so that individuals could wear it as a style. Damn, some of us actually need this to function normaly in society, while other feels that its a fashion statement worth doing. How I tried to avoid wearing glasses, to getting smaller and thinner frames, to getting contacts, only to find out that it is actually in to wear glasses. Irony?

All Blacks

Three black Proton Satria Neo's all parked side by side. So rare, the last time I saw cars of the same make and colour parked together was 4 electric blue Perodua Viva. Wicked!!

IF I HAD RAPUNZEL’S HAIR

Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your fair hair

If I had Rapunzel’s hair, or more precisely 70 feet of magical golden blonde hair, what would I do with it?

The movie shows that Rapunzel had complete control of her hair. She can move it at will and the hair itself has incredible strength as you can see it in the trailer.





Unlike the original story, the hair is merely just a rope for the prince, the hair also was braided to increased its strength, so that the witch could climb up the tower. Also her hair has to be hang on a hook, so that she won’t use her scalp as an anchor point (unlike our fellow Malaysian who can).

Rapunzel in the movie Tangled Up reminds me of a Marvel Comics character called Medusa. Medusa’s has long, thick, red hair that is stronger than an iron wire of the same thickness. She can elongated it, or lift up to 1.6 tons (about 1600kg). She could control each strands of air via psychokinetic ability (moving objects with her mind). She can snap it like a whip, bind objects, perform delicate manipulation such as picking a lock or coordination skills such as typing. She can use her hair to sense things that it touches. We can say Rapunzel is like Medusa’s magical blonde cousin.

Medusa fiery red hair

So what would I do with 70 feet of magical golden hair?

Multi Task…


Since each hair could be manipulated, I could mentally assign each hair to do a specific task. Instead of taking 2 hours to clean my mice cages, my hair could do it in 30 minutes. I could type my thesis and still do lab work. I can juggle books, journals and online articles. My master would be finished in half the time it is going to take now :)
Sigh…


Anyhow I got a lot of pictures of my hair. It has gone through many changes such as different lengths to the standard crew cut I always, to extreme changes such a drastic color change or chemical straigtening.

The good, the bad, the ugly, the "what the hell were you thinking"

However I think I could challenge a Nuffie named Firdauz.

This is me, when I was 10 years old. If I don’t get a haircut within 3 months, curls and more curls will appear. It made many Chinese Auntie green with envy. When I stayed in Segamat, old Chinese ladies would ask, where I did my hair. I was born this hair while they would willingly stay for 4 hours at the salon to get it. This probably how my magical raven black curly hair would look like

Bad Ass Parang that Chuck Norris would approve

My mother called me to come home early because she needed to pick up my dad from the airport. So I came home, early, which is rare, since I usually come home when the sun sets (I came in late, so I will leave late, but that is kinda redundant now really). I was parking in front of my house but it was difficult because the tree branches makes it hard to park close to the shoulder road. So I asked my mother for a "parang" and what a bad ass parang it was. I am not what parang is in English. Knife is pisau, Sword is Pedang, Keris is.. well keris, Parang? long sword? Macheti?

Regardless of what, this is one bad ass parang for having the correct balance, and weight. It did help when I started started a spark when I accidentally hit the wall behind the branch, however most importantly, what parang has a bottle opener built in the blade. This is the parang Chuck Norris would use.

Now or Tomorrow

I had a blast rearranging my trousers drawers, I had a go with my stationary compartment in my bag, that failed, since everything is mixed up again, and I think I lost the damn lip balm. FAIL!!..

I was going to arrange my shirts and t-shirts drawer, but its getting late. I need to go sleep (I was but I decided to blog, hoho) This can wait tomorrow when I got more time or at least allocate more time.

However I managed to layout the thing I am wearing for the whole week, which so organized and is not me at all, but it does prevent me from wearing something over and over again till its worn out.

A dear friend of mine, who is brutally honest but at the same time likes to keep secrets from me, tells me straight to my face, that I am a nerd, in term of fashion sense. Heck, I agree with him I am a nerd, I used to be a sloppy nerd now I try to be an more well put nerd. I guess his eye for detail knows my style. I think being a fashion nerd is much better than being a poser. A poser is person who tries to imitate a certain style but fails miserably. I don't want to be a poser. I think I am better off with the nerd style or better not. Perhaps there is something in google on how to make a nerd look, something fashionable and will land me in a page of a magazine (my brother who has a sense of style, to cover his lacking of sense of responsibility, was featured in a fashion magazine for street style)

Oh well, there is something more terrible than being a nerd, that is, being jobless...

Suddenly Mushroom

Suddenly mushroom. I went karaokeing with my siblings the other night. The karaoke package includes a buffet spread and free flow drinks (out goes the diet again, although the teas that I drank which was included in the buffet, seamed to have a cleansing effect). One of the dishes that were served in the buffet was these wonderfully juicy mushrooms. I have absolutely no idea what type they are, but they are black and juicy. Almost fishball like juiciness. It reminded me of a show on Food Network on Astro Beyond, where this Southern USA lady was preparing these portbello mushroom burgers. The mushrooms were so huge, they were used as patties to make these wonderful looking mushroom burgers. I was in a mushroom mode, I feel I need to have more mushrooms. Even my usual claypot dish that I always seem to eat at The Mines, food court, had mushrooms in it. I feel the need to have mushrooms till I am sick of it.

Absolutely Positively Takde Keje Lain

This post is so vain, if you could raised one eye brow, you would too. I just gotten a haircut, and its always a bit different everytime I get it but its always being done according to my taste. Something simple as keeping the side and back very short and cutting the crown with a layering scissors, make simple "crew cut", just a bit different. Heck, I am all about crew cuts, is the only hair style I like to have and maintain. My sideburn is back, after it was accidentally shaven off, due to my mistake of being trimmer happy (always used the guard with the trimmer ALWAYS). A sideburn is very important, it frames the face nicely, and keeps its from going roundish, if you are chubby like me with a chubby face. Another that suddenly appear is the black patch on my right cheek, the side burn seem to hide it or camoflauge it. Weird... Another nice thing, my contact lenses did not cause my eyes to be red at the end of the day. This problem is further augmentated that I have coloured lenses. I just can't stop liking my Geo lenses Magic Color 3 tone lenses. It looks grey, green and brown at certain times of day, almost like how a friend of a friend who has naturally hazel eye, and he is 100% Malay. WICKED!!! How about blemish free skin, and shine free skin. Perhaps is the mild weather today and that I washed my face with water a few hours ago, and that I finally found a sunblock that is not greasy. Sadly, the sunblock is no longer sold in Malaysia, or at least at every god damn pharmacy I went in. Too bad I got a facial hair above my lips that looks like adolescent boy or girl, which has to be shaven off because its looks damn ridiculous. I don't it grew anymore than it did when I was 12. Eh.. can't have everything right..

*although everything seem to fall apart, other things seem to come together....

What's in it?

Yesterday, I went and organized my trousers compartment in my closet. I had to do it, because my other trousers won't fit in them anymore. That means, there pairs of trousers that need to be thrown away and need to be organized so that more can be fit it. It does not help that its the same compartment where I keep my towels too. I have to sacrifice my junk drawer I think to fit everything in.

Today, I was inspired despite all the negative things that had happened, to do reorganized the compartment where I put in all my stationary in. I have forgotten how much stationary I have. Mind you, 1/3 of it, was courtesy of forgetful students who came to the lab that I was in.

There random but important things such as a lip balm and nail clipper. It seems I like to be able to cut my nails at anytime I please. Such a random post, but the way everything is so damn organized, like you have a maid on hand.

A rambling of a damn fool

I feel there is a target on me

Actually I have no idea for a title, but yeah, its kinda true.. oh who am I kidding, its 100% true. Its my rambling, and lately, I got tons of it. If my Blackberry is connected to the RIM service, you would probably hear more of my ramblings, updated almost anywhere.

Lately, rambling is all that I have been writing, except for the "You Again" movie contest, which I won. However even that contest, does not feel like a contest, since the event that happened really made me think about how left out sometimes I felt at school and how socially awkward I can be. Make no mistake, I can be really extrovert if I choose to, but sometimes I just wanna hide in corner somewhere.

Gosh, I just clean up my closet for the god knows how many times. Its still cluttered. I am guilty of this syndrome, we call hoarding. I just don't throw stuff away. I would say I am a mild hoarder, since I do throw stuff away. I just need it to be so cluttered that I had to threw some stuff away of I will be tripping over them.

I got rejected for my tutor application. It was very heartbreaking.. No actually it was very frustrating since the reason given was my I did not fulfill the required CGPA. Well they said the required CGPA is 3.0 above and I did get above that. Are they biased since I am from a private college? are they checking every semester of my degree days to see if I have 3.0 in each semester? Yes, I did drop below 3.0 in one semester but I also managed to get 3.5 in another semester too. Are they judging based on my diploma CGPA which is 2.12, it was not my proudest moment, but I learned from my mistakes. I can accept my rejected application if the reason given was logical.

I can't help it, this whole rejection thing, plus an aching back due to gym (which will get worse on the second day), lack of sleep, and my thesis quality, is really making me want to be that introvert person, and be drawn in deeply. Perhaps being drawn in deeply is what I actually need. I almost feel like running away, but I always finish what I started, well almost, but then I always finish all of my studies

Its kinda like a cruel joke, specifically for me, when people said I should just further my Phd, and worry work later. Seriously, sure its sounds fun getting money from your parents, but its not what I want to do now. The shame, embarrassment, helplessness, feeling tied up, feeling that I have more responsibility, the feel that I can't get mad, the feeling that I must agree with everything they do. Its tiring, so mentally tiring, I want to escape it all.

I did feel better for a while, then I dwell on the feeling and started feeling terrible all over again. Silly Budlee, always getting distracted by all the little things

If You Can't Say Something Nice, Say Nothing At All

Really?

If that title was something I truly followed, then, not much conversation could be done with my brother and dad. Wait..

I don't even talk them at all.

Ah so this word of wisdom does make sense after all.

I mean, I can't be really mean to my dad, after all, he is my dad and he does pay all of the bill so basically he got a chain around my neck. Regardless of everything I don't like about him, he is still dad. Oh yah, he gave me his genetics. Not much can I do really

Then we the idiot I called a brother. Actually, if I really think about it, I think he is pure genius. He practically gets away with everything. So many things he has done, and yet, nothing was done. I don't care if he doing things of his own, but when he involves me in it. Yeah, its hell.

Especially about cars. He uses them, and not take care of them. He just does not have the responsibility to do it. Why? because I do it for him, because my mother wanted me to do it instead of him. You see, he does not have to worry, he can do all kind of crap, and he knows somebody will support his lazy ass. Yes people told me, to take power, to control, but the car was paid fully by my dad. I feel like I am trap and enslave to it. Besides, if the car does go wrong, and my dad was driving it, we all had to take the blame.

My mom? well, she is getting old, and getting more laid back with the children. Which is why, brother can be such an ass and can get away with it. I can't talk to him, because I can' talk normally to him. I want smack his face, and yell on top of my lungs, but noo, cannot, its not right, its not the way to communicate. Seriously go fuck off all of you who thinks that way. You fucking don't know what the fucking I had to deal with, with the fucking moron. Oh yah, he gets the backing of my parents.

Lucky bastard, or better yet Lucky Smart Ass Bastard. One of the reasons my mother told me, that she hates to tell him to do anything, is that he will procrastinate and postpone till she is fed up. Then he does this face which makes her fed up. Then my mother will make a face to me, which makes me fed up, and at last, I do the work. Congrats him for being such a manipulator.

I could sense it when he was like 4. That little manipulating punk. Dear god, let me stay away from that little shit head. I don't care if he wants to lie away into my parents fortune, just do it, with out me there.

Gymeat

Gymeat??

No, not a new type of meat or a vegan meat made from soy bean. Its gym + eating = no change at all. Of course people would say, you need to eat, or you'll die, but come on. Healthy eating, is, well.. healthy.

We are talking lean meats, non oily, non processed, no refined starch, bla bla bla bla. Small meals every 2 hours, no meals after 8pm, drink enough water. bla bla bla.

Then we have the gym which is the exercise. Those are doing cardio, keeping your heart rate at optimum level for at least 20 minutes, doing resistance training, proper breathing, stretching and proper posture.

Its a lot to swallow. Some people managed to make the switch and never looked back. Me? Gosh.. I don't know if I do. I don't like hate my body or is ashamed of it, I mean I do try to find clothes now that are not to tight but not so effin loose that I look like a tent. My friends will know, that I will be the first one to get half naked and jump into the pool, while the rest of my friends with bulging biceps are ashamed of their little tummy. You know story, the one where I swam in a pool facing KLCC, great times, great times indeed.

Sometimes I do get jealous of the media, portraying really good looking well built men, surrounded by beautiful women. Yes, the media does exaggerated it, but its part of nature for females to find the best looking males to ensure their offspring become the best. You know the peacock with the colorful feathers are male, while the female look dull and gray.

I mean sometimes, I do get jealous and actually become more pump at the gym but then a glass of soda and bag of salty fried things, are really really good. I will never go anyway with this. Heck, I lost weight during the fasting month, because I actually ate a lot less and still do a lot more activity than I did in the normal months.

Its either be happy, or diet and exercise till you look and feel good. One thing though, about exercise, that I actually really like is that..

• your skin become in better condition
• you sleep better
• your bowel movements is so much smoother and easier

*bowel movement = berak... XD

I guess I'll keep on doing it, and then at least try to mind what I am eating and perhaps follow a fellow blogger tip. Find a tight fitting shirt and wear it with a tight fitting short. If its tight, you have gain weight, if it fits, then you are right on track, if its loose, well better get new set of fitting shirts and shorts. This will be your guide, regardless of how much you weight. Baggy clothes are comfort clothes, destined to make you feel better when gaining weight.

For me though, seeing someone with a body type that I admire, some how fuel this desire even more that the scale, or clothes. Its like, I wanna be like that guy, he looks great, look at that swagger, like Tom cat (male cat) at the back alley.

Focus

How do people keep focus? I always look track of my focus. The only thing that is focuses is my contact lenses helping my eyes to focus. Even that is creating problems now. Sometimes my eyes get dry and the contact lenses fall out. I manage to pop it back it without the usage of a mirror and solution as long as my eyes were watery. After years of wearing it, you kinda have the feeling of putting in your lenses in an emergency, although a mirror is a huge help.

These 1 year lenses are okay, but somehow I can’t shake the feeling that it would only last a few months, based on my last experience with a 1 year lense. Well at least, these lenses are cheap, like RM35 a pair, instead of like RM180 a pair. I just have to ensure I vigorously rub the lenses during cleaning to remove the protein.

I do hope I don’t get an eye infection again. People who wear contact lenses are more likely to get all sorts of eye infection, due to us, putting in, a foreign object into our eyes and have it there all day long.

Although colored lenses are fake, at least I still need to wear them to correct my vision. These are Geo Lenses from Korea called Magic Color 3 tone, in grey. Trust me, they only appear during flash photography, you can barely see them in real life, which is good or bad depending on the effect you want. The lenses are small, around 14.0mm, compared to Freshlook 14.5 mm lenses or the current trend of wearing 16.0mm lenses. I find them okay, since they are not as comfortable as my Softlens 38, since the color pigments due block the oxygen content a bit. It does depend on your eyes though.

Type Of Shopper

I wonder what type of shopper am I. Am I a compulsive shopper, who buys based on something that immediately attracts their mind? Am I an emotional shopper who shop based on the heart? Am I the “keeping up with the Joneses” shopper that needs to be updated with everything? Am I the tech geek? Am I the buy everything regret later?

I have no idea. I have a hate love affair with shopping. I love to get new things, but I just can’t imagine how expensive things can be. I hate that when I do get something new, I will regret it soon after. I hate shopping because I will have less money to spend it on afterwards.

However things that I absolutely love to spend on, is probably grocery. Take me to the nearest Hypermarket and I will be immediately at home. Not electronic stores, not the clothing department but the groceries.


Spices, sugar, packets of rice
Everything is so nice

Coffee, tea, or Milo
I should pick up some seaweed gelatin to make jello

Dynamo, Febreeze and Clorox
Ooooh look at that patch that claims to detox

Shampoo, soap, hair gel and toothpaste
Been in here too long, must make haste

You Again?

First and for most, I gotta say something first. Wow, Betty White is like everywhere now, she is 80 something and still quite active in acting. You should see her Snicker's commercial in the US. Hey its Kristen Bell, she used to star in now no longer produced series Veronica Mars and she was on Heroes as a villain who is able to command electricity but who then got her head cut open by Sylar. Odette Yustman, such a exotic name, I wonder where she is from, not much that is known about her except that she was on this movie called Cloverfield, a movie which cause many movie goers to throw up due to motion sickness. We then have Jamie Lee Curtis, wow she looks really old now, but good. I think she pass on most of the plastic surgery other Hollywood actress took. I still remember her dance scene in True Lies. Sigourney Weaver, our Avatar girl, without her blue skin and khakis but traded it into something red and shiny.

YOU AGAIN? Yeah, we all have some one from our past that made our lives feel like hell. What if you met them again, ergh.. scary.. even worse, they will be part of your family.... the worst of all, they will be a part of your close family. That means every celebration, weddings, and funerals, they will be there. AAAAAAH!!!!!!

I got a lot of people who tormented me in school but the worse would probably be in secondary school. I did not really have just one person against me, I have like a bunch of boys who just liked to pick on me. They just like to see my reaction toward anything they did.

Some said, it was just a joke, and I should just be cool about it, but I can't. I don't get the jokes, the pranks or the whatever they thought that was funny. All I got was my own frustration and their laughter. Which in turn made me mad, and made me feel lonesome and out of place. It continued on from Form 2 to Form 3. When I was in form 3, that was my final breaking point

I went back after lunch to find out, that my bag fill with a trash can. Not just trash, they actually put the whole trash can in my bag. I went berserk after wards and started to throw everything all over the classroom. Well, you know how caring Malaysians was, all the nearby classes started to came by and watch while I freaked out. I don't really remember what happened afterwards, there were no meeting with teachers nor there was any suspension of anyone. After the day that I finally had enough, the teasing stopped, and the boys just stopped bothering me.

There were still minor teasing, here and there but I guess people learned their lesson and I learnt mine. Sometimes, you just have to smile and nod, even though you have no idea what's going on. Although that did not change the fact I was still a loner, still though there were people that kinda understand the person I am it went okay.

What if they were a part of my family now? Gosh, I think most of them are married already and the probability of me seeing them again is quite slim, since I skipped most of the reunions my school did. I will go there once I pursue my PhD only.

WHAT IF?? they did come, or maybe one of them decided to come back, and married one of my sisters?

YOU AGAIN??????????????

I would actually welcome them, I don't think they would recognized me anymore or even know how much I have actually changed. To think that they could repeat the same shit they did back then. They are wrong, DEAD wrong....

Opss, that's another movie ;)

Budget

I did something that I love to do, but fail to execute. Budgeting. I had all sorts of plan to do on my imaginary budget, but most of it never materialised. Its either, I spend it all, I already lock my self into a long term monthly payment, or trying to keep up with the Joneses. At my current situation, I have no stable income, although I finally did something smart and applied for the Demonstrator job available. Its basically a task that I have done for free for the past 2 1/2 years but never qualified for payment. So far that is the only real thing that is going into my account that is real, and its only per semester.

Right now I am applying for a tutor position in my lab, which is surprisingly supported by almost all the lecturers. It has a pretty good salary if the pay is the same as a friend who is doing the almost same thing in another faculty. However, I shall not get my hopes up, even though the Head of Department supported it, and even the new Dean, who replaced the former jerk. Somebody in the main campus can always destroyed my hopes and dreams.

The worst part of it, is that I already made a budget of how the money will be spent. That's kinda stupid because I am working a false pretense of something that may or may not happen. Another ugly truth that I found out, is that, according to the budget, I don't have much left to spend.

Its not all that bad, since I did allocated some money for savings, for PTPTN (who just sent me the warning letter because I did not tell them I was furthering my studies) and even some for my mother.

A lot of the budget went into my soon to be new car, to replace the almost 20 year old car that I am driving. I mean its relatively a good option, since the old car has high roadtoax, high fuel consumption and high maintenance. I don't mind having it sent for repairs, I just hate the fact that most of the parts takes days to be located. I also do not plan to pay for 9 years on my car, since its basically renting your vehicle.

However it does need a basic safety equipment, which is kinda top spec for Malaysia cars. Things such as 2 airbags (the western world has minimum of 6) and ABS. Even these two are only available in top specs for each version.

However for these things, I am looking at almost half of my salary going to a car. It could be solved by getting a cheaper car which will only take up a comfortable 1/3of my salary which does include fuel, toll, and maintenance. Actually that 1/2 of my salary does include fuel, toll, and maintenance. I dunno why I freak out so easily.

Its not even real, the salary, the job nor the car. The only thing that is real, is the 20 year old car, the pending thesis and this lap top. That is what I do, which is dwelling on a pure thought. I gotta get out of this rut (perhaps put some pictures in too, this is a laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy blog) but then, its still mine :)

Too Much

Remember that feeling when you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt, well I have that feeling of my ribs hurt, but not due to laughing but to coughing uncontrollably. Its the doomed dry cough. It causes you nights sleep and is a bothersome to everyone in the cinema, the library, and exam hall.

I would love to have my blocked nose back and the cough that accompanies it. They are much more manageable than this crappy cough.

It other good news, I had the largest gathering of friends that came to my house ever. Wait.... I had a large group of friends over when I was in Form 4, but that is different, since they invited themselves over by force.

It was tiring, but at least I got a lot of help from my family. Yes, we should preserve the environment by using washable plates and cups, but only if you had someone to wash it for you. I will stick to paper plates, cups and plastic utensils next time.

Out Early

Usually sleeping in early would be a great thing.. is it? I mean you get more sleep which research have said is good for your health. Also going to bed early means you are probably sick and need the rest

Well, I am in for both reasons. I am feeling unwell and I feel I need the sleep (besides I gotta stop coming in late, its getting ridiculous). However the last two days that I managed to sleep early and woke up (relatively) early, has lead me to these vivid dreams.

The first dream was about me forgetting a travelling date that I had with a friend. I totally believed that is was real and can't seem to realize it. It took a long time to snap out of that dream

In the second dream, I dream I had to go back to UiTM to do my degree, I even went back to my old hostel. I was told I had to take a few classes before I can graduate. It was terrible, not only I had no place to live in the hostel (every room was full) I knew no one there. I was so upset and cried in my dream, till I realized, I already graduated, and had my convocation. I even finished my degree and had its convocation too. Then I managed to snap out of the dream and woke up to reality.

Ergh.. god knows what the heck my mind is playing with me tonight..

Dry

I hate coughing more than a blocked nose. I can still sleep with a blocked nose. Just cover my nose with a blanket and let the warmed air relaxed and clear my passage way. However, with coughing, you end up waking up with a cough or trying to sleep with a cough. Its such a terrible feeling. The worst kind of cough is the dry cough. You just keep coughing your lungs out and you can't stop. Nothing comes out, which means its practically no use. Coughing with phlegm is just the body own way to remove the excess infected phlegm out of your system. So dry cough is nuisance to my own sanity. I feel like biting everyone heads off.

Cough syrup taste terrible. That so called mixed fruit flavour is very nasty to me. I got who loves the taste of cough syrup. Ergh.... A friend of mind recommended me to a home remedy which consist of half of calamanzi lime and a table spoon of pure honey. They taste great! The tartness of the lime is soften by the smooth sweet honey and that gooey honey texture and smell gets cut by the lime. Its means both ingredient work incredibly well with each other. There have been many researches done of the effectiveness of lime and honey, together or separately against many types of bacteria. Since I am having a sore throat as well, the honey and calamanzi lime combination should aid in healing the throat.

At least I don't have to get my tonsils remove like my sister did. Her tonsils were disgusting before, filled with holes and tears, because it was so badly infected. After she got them taken out, she never fall as sick as she did before. Hopefully my tonsils are just irritated for a while.....

Not There Yet

Have you ever experienced a time when you are about to fall sick, but you managed to defer it for sometime. That is exactly what I feel is happening now. I feel like I am about to get a cold, but I took an antihistamine and Panadol. Sure enough, the cold and fever never appeared. However, my throat felt a bit coarse and it did not help that I decided to go karaoke and sang "Lagu Untuk Mu" by Meet Uncle Hussein, which consist entirely of falsetto when sang with my voice. In addition, I did not get enough sleep because I decided a weekday is the perfect day to stay up late. I still took the antihistamine, the panadol and some vitamins to curb the cold. My throat is killing me, so I end up takig honey and calamanzi lime to sooth my throat. I threw in a few sugarfree Fisherman's Friend and keep my self hydrated. I even gargle with mouthwash in hoping it would kill the bacteria invading my throat right now.

Supposedly its working, but right now I fee like I am about to get sick, but I am not, which kinda suck. I mean no point of getting an MC, apparently I still look healthy to the doctor that was assign to me, I had beg for an MC. Its makes me irritated to even ask one.

I hate drinking lots of water before sleeping because I would end up waking up to the pain of wanting to go the bathroom. Its definitely a dream breaker. Hopefully this whole sickness thing will go away

On the positive note, my nose is not stuffy. YAY!!

The Smell

My nose is probably the only thing that works properly, even though the passage way is blocked (that is why I sound nasally and sometimes snore while I am awake), the sense of smell never fails me.

Everything has their own odour, smell, aroma, or stench. Sometimes its indescribable. Can you describe the smell of rain, the aroma of rendang, the odour of the stink bug or the stench of those who does not shower. All of these scents will leave a long lasting impression on me, will trigger the memories that associated with it.

The stench of today is the stench of a defrosted freezer that was left unattended all weekend. So the room that accommodate the freezer now smell like death. Death to me smells like a 10 year old carcass that is slowly decomposing in the freezer.

I feel I need a shower now and these clothes need to be hand washed using a lot of detergent, so that it won't contaminated other clothes and will come out smelling fresh and clean.

Connections

My Internet connection degrades each coming year. It gotten worse with the new broadband gateway. I am not sure if its the broadband gateway's fault or just my lap top needs formatting. There is so many junk and crap in here, that this laptop needs a clean sweep to remove everything. Not to mention, this laptop gets hot to the point that resting my palm on it is uncomfortable. I wonder if those metal based netbook cooler would work better, since metal will absorb the heat from the laptop and the built in fan will cool it down.

If only Unifi would come to my neighborhood. I am sure it will, but it will take them a long time I bet. It took TM a while to connect Streamyx broadband to our row of linked houses. Even before Streamyx broadband existed, the fastest connection that we were able to get on our 56kb modem was only 28kb, regardless of what type of computer or laptop that we used. Unifi is great, since you can get up to 20mb per second connection to your house. AWESOME.

To put it in perspective, the fastest Streamyx connection we could buy is 4mb, and the speed never touches 4mb ever. My house uses a 1mb connection, and its pretty slow at times. Those who uses only 512kb or worst 384kb had it worst that ours.

A cousin of mine said "well its better than nothing at all". She is right, but damn infrastructure is not building up as fast as people are getting wired. Sure there are many wireless broadband available, however there is a limit cap on the amount of you can use, once you go over the limit, your connection is stopped since you already used the allocated amount that you paid. Streamyx seem to have unlimited access, although the fine print said, if a particular customer downloads a lot of things (torrent, P2P) they slow down the Internet connection.

My house will sometime have 6 people connected to the Internet at the same time, so Broadband limits are a big no no.

Ah well, here is hope for a better broadband connection in the future..

Ritual

Everyone of us has a particular ritual they do each night.

My ideal ritual is taking my shower which includes brushing my teeth, shampooing my hair, soaping my body and washing my face with a cleanser before Maghrib. Than clean feeling one gets after a shower is very... well... clean.

Then have dinner, then just watch TV and then go to bed at 11pm.

Yeah, that is pretty much ideal for me

Usually it ends up, me on the laptop (as if I don't spend on it enough in the lab) till Maghrib, then pray, then take a shower, fight with my sister on what channel to watch (the bitch refuse to give control of the TV, which is getting ridiculous as we get older), then have an inner conflict whether to go to gym or not and then ate something salty or savoury for a snack. All the while, still haven't bath.

I might decide to surf the net some more, play video games, or go out to Tesco. I will or might go to the gym or stay up watching something on YouTube..

Don't forget, I must at least open the Thesis folder or at least read something academic at night.

Ergh.. it feels hectic even thought there is not much to do.

Crazy..... or just plain poor time management

Hunger

Why do some people just don't get hungry at all. Yeah that kinda over exaggerating, but actually there are some people who seem never to be hungry. They feel full all the time. That's not so bad, there are people who are hungry all the time, eats all the time and still are just skins and bones. ARGGGHH. That is even more irritated. Besides these people are runway/catwalk models anyway, so that means they represent less than 1% of the world.

I am hungry constantly, however hunger seemed to be suppressed during Ramadhan, which resulted 1kg per week of weight loss. Fasting + Tarawikh Prayers at night = Good weight loss. However it only works, if you don't stuff your face during breaking fast, continue eating through out the night or had buffet all Ramadhan.

Hunger is even more projected after exercise, like 10 fold of the usual hunger. If I do eat, what happens, is you replaced all the calories that you just burn. The human body just loves to keep feeding itself.

I am not that obsessed with my weight. If I were, I would lost a lot of weight. According to the Body Mass Index (BMI), I am supposed to be weighing 50kg. WTF.. That is like skins and bones ONLY. Not only you can probably see my abs, but my ribs, pelvis and probably some internal organs as well.

I love salty food, I would choose salty and savory over sweetness, but sour food have a special place in my heart. To eat or not eat. To have will power or not have will power. Will I wake up at 2am for a snack, or worst, not be able to sleep until 2am and get up and make a full course meal at 2am.

NO.. a banana is not filling, neither a packet of Maggi nor a glass of milk. WTF are you people thinking of those thing being filling. Then you should all be eating that only each day, and never have to complain about your weight.

Ergh.. fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

Minute

Schools back again, that means traffic jam also, however, I leave home before the traffic jam starts and leave the lab after the traffic jam ends... hmmmm

I am trying to keep Syawal weight gain, from... well gaining.

Running out of money.. again!.. Argh..

Will actually be selling the Mercedes now. no I mean seriously. Since he agreed to the 13k price tag.

Thesis, thesis. freak muthfuka thesis...

ANTM new season is great!

Ford Fiesta is really nice, but I really want the Kia Soul..

Farmville and Frontier is left alone, yet again...

Finally felt secure and confident on getting a Neo, but who knows, he might change his mind yet again, besides, still haven't spoken to him at all.

Sent the Samsung camera for its last trip to the repair centre. Its last chance, before its kept in the junk drawer.

I think I need the junk drawer for space to put my clothes in....

The Rubber Band Effect

The Rubber band Effect. Tie a weight to a rubber band, then watch it as the weight pull it back down. Cut the weight off, and rubber band snaps up right to your face. Yes, that is my analogy on how the weight loss of Ramadhan and the feast of Syawal acts. Maybe some of you have more will power than others and just plainly refuse anything coconut based during raya (what are you ah, Mat Salleh is it) or you have incredibly high metabolism to burn everything off or you have that type of body that failed to gain or loose weight (or your scale is stuck or broken).

I am not that concerned or am I. These low rise slim fit Billabong jeans, feels incredibly fit today. The scale tells me the same thing as my mind did. The weight gain will only come, about a week after the feast.

Should I cry? Nope. Worry? Not at all. I will accept this as being normal. Regardless of whatever the reasons of people give when they gain weight, the cause of it, is because you eat more calories than you are able to burn it off. Unless you have a medical letter from a specialist saying that you have thyroid problem.

So just do it, fasting again, not eating after 7, no fast food, no rice, lift weights, run on the treadmill, jog in the park, drink replacement meals in a glass or go to a slimming centre. What ever that is that you do that works for you to control your weight. Just do it.

More important of all, is to be happy and comfortable with yourself.

Accidents Happens

Accidents increased tremendously during any public holiday's in Malaysia, but peaked during Chinese New Year and Hari Raya because the public holiday is longer and more people are on the road.

However the picture above was taken at the gold course in UPM during the fasting month. Its quite baffling how the Mercedes got into this predicament. The driver was driving on grass, not on the paved road, not even on the paved golf cart road. To the left of the car is actually the paved road. I just don't understand how could they missed it? A thief joy riding? A drunken golfer? Who knows....

Jaws Wide Open

The way this hood of the car opens, looks like a big jaw, no? Its just another maintenance service for the car. We need around 6 litres of lubricant for this. This is right after the car air conditioner was fixed. Now the gas is leaking.. yet again.. so sad... It pains me to sell this car, not because this car means a lot to me (so many things happened with this car), its just irritating because my dad sabotages the sale, by selling the car at a high price, putting to much emotion and past experience of the car to the buyer and making ludicrous guarantee (no problems in 6 months after you buy this car). So painful indeed....

Rasa Lah Kuih Kuih Ku

I can't weive ketupat, I can't stir dodol, I can't make rendang, I can't roast lemang but I can make raya biscuits. Although chocolate chip almond is a modern cookie, I can still make semperit and pineapple tart. I am learning to make kuih Siput and kuih Gunting though. So, the Malay preparation of Hari Raya, is not lost in me. Beside, I think 80% of the Raya biscuits that are sold on the market, are repulsive. Gimme homemade biscuits, slightly disfigured, anytime over those perfect pretty Raya biscuits.

One Minute Of Distraction, 4 lives lost

This is a public service announcement video aim at young drivers on the dangers of texting and driving at the same time. This very graphic videos shows just less than one minute of distraction on the road, could cost you the lives of others. I seen most videos on traffic accidents, but this and a video by Simple Plan called "Untitled" probably gives the best impact to me.

Did you

Do you sometime wonder why you are you? How you look, where you live, how your life turned out. These are the thoughts when you have too much free time. Or that you stayed playing a game for too long your mind literally froze (that's what happened to me now, now I lost sleep and fail to do anywork, now I am blackberrying in the dark while worrying will I stay awake long enough to fall asleep). I started to look at the mirror and see myself. Same face I knew all my life. Things that changed, things that stayed the same. Things I want to change things I never thought I did. Urgh... I should just have shut down the lap top and just sit quietly and just get lost in my imagination. But the last time I did that was during my botched up dye job. No worries, a hair cut and a new dye job should do the trick. I kinda hate sleeping now. Dreams are getting weirder and weirder. Its addictive too. Like a TV show that you watched. You keep wanting to know what will happened next. I gotta stop these things. I don't want to have a bedtime dream, it just takes away from my real life dream, it takes away my life in general. Gotta sleep....
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Dekat raya

Hmm its nearing raya, and fasting month is almost ending. The last 3 years of fasting, including this year, has been different. I lost weight, instead of gaining weight. Its like the best thing in the world. Everything fits better, and comes in my size. Too bad, within one week, everything was gained back O_o.. Ah oh well..... I still need a way to maintain what I had. Now, its time to tailor clothes :D

A conversation during Sahur

Me: Ma, I think you may have slip disc

Ma: me too

Me: bla bla bla friend, bla bla, Dr Ngah, Dr Malina, bla bla

Ma: Yup, it does hurt

Sisters: *nods

Me: Bla bla bla, physiotherapy, bla bla, friend,

Ma: Really, bla bla, I should

Me: You should, bla bla bla friend, bla bla, bowling, bla bla

Sisters: *nods

Ma: Yes, bla bla, KPJ Hospital, bla bla, near, bla bla

Me: Yes, bla bla, you should go, bla bla

Ma: Yup bla bla

Me: Bah, you have slip disc too before right?

Babah: What? I can't understand you, please speak properly. I don't understand a word you said. Can't you speak normally?

Me: *stayed quiet

Ma: *took multivitamin

Sister 1: *near the kitchen sink, Huh? I could understand Abang's conversation perfectly, how come Babah did not?

Sister 2: *shrugs.



*Moral of the story?

My family has our own secret language that my dad does not understand or I have a language that only my family members and friends could understand and my dad does not. Now you know, why I never really talked to my dad about anything. When he tries to decode what I say, it will end up frustrating him and brings the conversation to an end.

Keeping up with the Joneses

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is a catchphrase in many parts of the English-speaking world referring to the comparison to one's neighbour as a benchmark for social caste or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to "keep up with the Joneses" is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority. Taken from Wiki

I hear this catchphrase a lot, but never seem to know where it came, till now. Don't we all, envy other people's wealth and material things. It takes a person with a huge confidence to look at the "Joneses", smile, and walk away with out the need to be like them or over take them.

I would know, right now, is a phase where everything is not going right. Everybody has that phase and sooner or later, one does get out of it. One just need to remain focus and follow the path they have set to themselves.

Sleep

One of the effect of having to wake up early is, the time when my family wakes me up for sahur is always during the peak of my dream sequence. Almost everyday during fasting, this disturbance happens. Somehow though, I think my body is almost used,to be up at 5.20am everyday. I think I already woken up a few minutes earlier but I decided to sleep. Bad decision, for me, the dream sequence will start again, and even more intense if I decided to fall asleep again. Which is the leading cause of me, being late to lab, excluding running family errands. To sleep or not to sleep is not the question, but is whether to sleep again or not.