Against Nature

By nature, I like to be right all the time at any time for any topic. Its just something I am, especially when I know I am right. I want to be right and I will strive to find ways to be right to the point its not right, but who cares, as long as I am right, everything will be alright.

However, there are some people who are more stubborn, ego, bitchy, or right than I am. Usually I will fight them off one by one, till I have nothing left. I will either prove to you I am right by doing research by showing proof or will finally give in to your truth, but only after I given it a good fight.

However, you still forcefully want to be right, refuse to acknowledge me at all, used your Veto power, or refuse to back down, I will let you be right, and will let you be right forever. Everything you said is the truth and nothing can ever bend the facts you given to me. I will agree and believe to everything you say. You are the truth and you are the fact, you are wrong only if you choose to be wrong. At this point, I agree to whatever you say, not because I actually agree, its because I don't give a shit anymore, you can go f**k your self with your f**king  points and I won't say a f**king word anymore about it. You can take your f**king arguments and be the f**king ruler of the country name S**tville. You want to be right, go f**king ahead, just don't expect me to respond to anything more than a nod, or smile, because all of it is pure lies. You are so f**ked up you don't even know I am lying straight to your face, and that is the F**king truth

Absolutely Positively Takde Keje Lain

This post is so vain, if you could raised one eye brow, you would too. I just gotten a haircut, and its always a bit different everytime I get it but its always being done according to my taste. Something simple as keeping the side and back very short and cutting the crown with a layering scissors, make simple "crew cut", just a bit different. Heck, I am all about crew cuts, is the only hair style I like to have and maintain. My sideburn is back, after it was accidentally shaven off, due to my mistake of being trimmer happy (always used the guard with the trimmer ALWAYS). A sideburn is very important, it frames the face nicely, and keeps its from going roundish, if you are chubby like me with a chubby face. Another that suddenly appear is the black patch on my right cheek, the side burn seem to hide it or camoflauge it. Weird... Another nice thing, my contact lenses did not cause my eyes to be red at the end of the day. This problem is further augmentated that I have coloured lenses. I just can't stop liking my Geo lenses Magic Color 3 tone lenses. It looks grey, green and brown at certain times of day, almost like how a friend of a friend who has naturally hazel eye, and he is 100% Malay. WICKED!!! How about blemish free skin, and shine free skin. Perhaps is the mild weather today and that I washed my face with water a few hours ago, and that I finally found a sunblock that is not greasy. Sadly, the sunblock is no longer sold in Malaysia, or at least at every god damn pharmacy I went in. Too bad I got a facial hair above my lips that looks like adolescent boy or girl, which has to be shaven off because its looks damn ridiculous. I don't it grew anymore than it did when I was 12. Eh.. can't have everything right..

*although everything seem to fall apart, other things seem to come together....

I choose to accept.

I choose to accept,

I choose to accept what life has given to me,

I choose to accept the choices I make and the path that I walked through,

Would I look back?

Yes,

Would I want to change the past?

I would if I could but end up loosing what I had now,

I choose to accept,

I choose to accept that I have accepted it now but during my down days I would choose not to accept,

I choose to understand peoplel

I choose to know that you cannot change people's preferences

I choose to understand that I can't chase them,

I choose to accept.

Talking or no talking

This is the second series of the talking subject. Right now, I did very little talking. Why? for once our lab tech has gone for a month long class for her degree. Second, I find that most of the stuff that comes out of my mouth with my close friends is about embarrassing things that happened to other people. That means 80% of the time I talk rubbish to them. Its kinda sad and pathetic isn't. So I try to not say anything remotely related to it, and all I got was plenty of awkward and silence moments.

I feel like I had withdrawal syndrome from this thing. I got very restless and easily angered. I was incredibly angry at the Celcom operator for not being any help at all to me. Road rage also increased, even though I drove a small sub compact. Its kinda scary how much just telling juicy details of a private life is so intoxicating.

I guess this is why we love to read trashy magazines and newspapers that only points out each person flaw. Its kinda funny that among the important people currently in my life now, two of them have heard stories about each other, and yet they barely know each other. Its was funny because I knew both of the rumors were not true at all, since I know them both very well. Now all I have to do, is to keep their heads from butting in each other.

Well I am gonna see, how long can I keep my trash talking to a bare minimum. I did talk some trash to a friend via blackberry but only because he was going to the same thing I was going through, and he does not have a clue who was I talking about. Some more he belongs to different clique, but then people get to know each other. Before you know it, stories have travelled faster than some downloading porn movies..

Talking

Talking, its something I love to do. Every one I knows know how much of a talker I am. Sometimes I make a great company when you are bored, but I can talk you to death, boredom or till you go insane. Its something that absolutely love to do, despite sometimes ago I feel like a quite person, which is total bull crap really. I love to talk, to communicate, to sms, to instant messaging, especially with my Blackberry Messenger. However, there is a secret I have that I do with talking, sometimes people caught me off guard doing this, and I have to sheepishly admit that I actually did it.

I talk to myself, by myself, against myself or have a complete monologue with myself. I do this everywhere I go, usually I think people don't noticed it, but sometimes people caught me off guard mumbling to myself. My lab mates and staff all have caught me talking in serious tone or laughing out loud to myself. All them had this bewildered look, whether Budlee has gone off the deep end or something. Well to late, I have gone off the deep end, fell down and now in the valley of insanity.

Its something I do to calm myself or to make things more clearly to myself. There are times where my friends are not available to me, so I had to talk to someone, so I ended up talking to myself. Sometimes I pretend the person I wanted to talk too was there too. I make a perfect audience to myself, someone who listen, give feedback and don't ask question that I could not ask. I am doing a lot of that know, even more, probably because I am beginning to start a new relationship and I am freaked out that I might freak this new person out with my freakish behaviour, now doesn't that sound freaky.

Well we all have our own ways to escape from the real world now and then. That is my why, how yours? how do you escape your reality?

Coke

I had a sudden urge to drink Coke yesterday, so I decided to buy a 1.5 litre bottle yesterday at Tesco, while searching for a light bulb. Apparently its almost insanely difficult to get a Cool Daylight and Warm White Genie 14w Energy Saving Lamps at Tesco. I don't think they even carry this type at the Kajang branch. Anyways frustration of the missing bulb, the insane traffic jam after picking up my sister from her Islamic School which was combined with another school because they had Islamic School exam. I felt like a rat, trapped in a maze of traffic jam, and was desperately finding ways to get out of the gridlock. We weren't even in the city, it was small neighborhood road.

I am not sure either to be insulted or amazed.

Anyways stress levels were high, and unlike last year, the last days of fasting seemed the most terrible for me. Tempers flare, sleepiness increase, and I feel quite nocturnal. I needed something, a quick fix, a drug or sort. Its terrible, its bad and its unhealthy, especially since I dranked the whole bottle within 12 hours. Yeah, that is crazy and I suffered the consequences. Coke has caffeine, just like coffee but not as much though, but 1 whole bottle of Coke, I think that is a lot of caffeine going to my system. Unlike most people, I can still sleep with a dose of caffeine. The other effects of caffeine is increased bowel movements. Yes, that means you tend to go to the bathroom more often to do number 2. On the bright side, its cleasing to the digestive system. Yeah its not good to associate food with emotion, for that it would make me a better candidate to enter The Biggest Loser Asia, but I swear, that eating chocolates does not make me fat. Time and time it shows when I down lots and lots of chocolate, people end up saying, I look good and thin. Perhaps chocolate stops me from eating other things, or the phytochemicals in chocolates makes your radiant with in. Studies shown chocolate makes you be in a better mood too.

Pessimist

I had a great time oh Thursday night, watching the new Harry Potter movie with 11 friends. That is a pretty huge group for a movie. It's also the first time I combined my two cliques together in one outing. A movie is not exactly a good way to mingle, but at least they seen each other faces in real life. Sadly though, that great night of movie lead to probably one the worst day of my life. I had to send back my friend to the UPM hostel, but was blocked using our primary way, so I had to go to the 1st entrance, and had to show my matric card to enter and having to lie, we were doing research in the lab. After sending him to his hostel, I took a wrong turn to the wrong exit. UPM has many entrances to each of its faculty, hostel and campuses. So I reversed and rushed to the primary exit, where I was pulled over, and requested to check my boot and my back seat, not to mention my matric card, which the Security guard repeatedly look over and over again. They claimed since I was speeding and took a wrong turn, I was suspicious. Heck they did not even know GS in the matric card stands for graduate student. When I finally exited, the guard say don't enter too late inside. I once had to leave at 3am because of a lousy experiment, I don't think they have any authority to say anything to research, unless they want to come along and help me, or donate money so I can get new materials instead of borrowing it. Anyways I think I am older than most of them, since most guards are quite young really. I don't like Security Guards, especially the ones in Universities and perhaps some offices. Most of them are barely educated, can't really speak, and basically can't get any job other than a guard. So they can't think for themselves, nor they have the courtesy or people skills. I got a guard at KLCC where my sister works, who barks at employees whose name tagged is not on properly. They barked, not asking politely, but bark like a dog. I feel sad for them, that the only action they could get is scolding employees. The same thing for guards in Universities and Colleges, they only know how to act tough and give tickets to students. Give them one bad situation, they probably going to run around like chicken with their head cut off. What do these guard have for fighting anyway? A stick? I got bamboo stick in my car, or a steering lock or an umbrella that I could whip their ass. They act tough around employees and students because its the only time they could actually have any authority. In UPM, you can't get a sticker for anyone else even though you have all the right legal documents, because they are afraid of people counterfeiting the stickers. Dumbass, you think I can't remake the car sticker and the sticker shop, I seriously doubt you even checked the sticker number when I drive through. They make that stupid rule and yet they don't open on weekends. So basically those who work part time, must take a day off to get the lousy stickers. I hate guards, I wish to only to deal with machines, which is why its great to have those access cards and the poles to prevent you coming in and out. They do the same job these dumbass guards do, but cheaper, more efficient and with out the so called superiority complex that the human guards have. The only guards I should be afraid is the ones with guns, at least you know they have something to point if any real bad happens.

Well that is all for my point of guards (Hate the useless bastards and if you or your family or your friends is a guard, f@#K them too okay, because I don't give a d@#n) Anyways after that whole stupid incidence, I was stood up by a so called friend, because he fell asleep. Gee, thanks for making me plan around your sleeping time. Then my good for nothing brother, who existed is not needed at all in this universe, was smart enough to go out with the house keys and gate remote.....which was attached to the car keys of the car that I want to send to the mechanic to have it checked out. Really, I have no idea, his function in the house, nothing really, just a parasite that bleeds out resources really. I wish my albendazole works on him so he could be rid with just one dose (albendazole is Zentel, a worm drug). Really, I have no idea why I have to deal with these people, perhaps by force really. One thing that bugs me, is the new PhD student under my prof, the damn bastard somehow talked my prof about dropping Medical Protozology. You are doing Malaria, but you won't take protozology classes.. gee.. are you that smart already. You know, F@$k You, I hope to be finishing soon, and I hope you talked to prof about a nitrogen thank for your P. berghei, because I am so not taking care of it anymore .

5

Why on earth do you need 5 cars?..

Actually we might need more...

Crazy right, to have 5 cars in a household. It's just plain crazy, and its not just a bunch of K-cars, its a variety of cars from the old but faithful 190e, the big and spacious Ria, the people's favourite Myvi, the executive choice Accord and the value for money Viva. Did I mention we have 2 motorcycle too..

My sisters pays for her Myvi, I paid for half of my Viva, I see no reason why my younger brother and sister should be driving. We did not have our own car's their age. Whose household has 5 car now anyway...

Perhaps they should go to the higher court (our dad) to find out how... I don't mind riding my bike again. Since parking is impossible now in UPM due to Medical brats bringing their own cars even though they are 1st semester students..

No more English in Math and Science

Hmm have you heard, there will be no more teaching in English for Math and Science. More than half of Malaysian rejoice since they don't have to cram their head trying to learn a second language or third for some. I guess this means better exam results in the future?? To be frank, who really learns English in school anyway, unless you go to an international school and the medium is in English. We ended up learning English when we further our studies or when we work. Too bad, I thought it would be a good head start in life, but alas, not every agrees with it. Its back under the rock now..

Too Much Fun

Is there too much fun and pleasure? I would say so, the last weekend was one of my best weekends ever, it was so good, I ended up getting a flu on Monday. If I had to do it over again, I would have taken supplements, get a good night rest and use a blanket when I am sleeping.

The Best

Last Sunday was the BEST Sunday ever :). Bus rides, motorcycle rides and new komuter rides, I should woken much earlier for the trip :D

Ramblings

Maturity, its not something that you get with age, but something you get with life experiences. Usually the ones that made you loose 5kg in a month (through fasting and meditating), ones that make you cry till we of the night or those that made you wake up in cold sweat. These experiences are so strong it forces us to really stop and think about the actions that we do.

Drama its part of life, but handling those with who likes to be dramatic is weary. I am dramatic from the way I talk, and the way I describe things, but I hate drama with people I am with. Perhaps the drama I produce are more than enough to satisfy my needs. Thank you for those who are closest to me who do not produce drama.

There comes to a point where you just don't care anymore about what your siblings do. Maybe I am less emphatic to someone who does not help himself or who always get backed up our mother. He should be lucky mother is still alive and well, since I would kick him out until he has some sense to come back and clean himself up.

Lab work is weary especially when I need to buy new reagents. Its weary because my "thrifty" advisor is extra "thrifty" when it comes to buying reagents. Its one of the things that stalls my progress, but probably just one of the life experience that will be valuable in the future.

Missing in Action

I really miss my Mercedes, its almost a month since it was admitted into the workshop. It is undergoing top overhaul and needs a new exhaust system since the former one is clogged with oil. I do miss this car, even though it guzzles petrol and the aircond is not working well during traffic jams or hot weather. Too many memories happened within this car, good and bad. I said to my self I wanted to a donut at the dirt parking lot next to the Graduate School Building once I am done with my Masters. I do hope that dream will come through.

Normal

Well many things have returned to normal, my parents are back home and the blogspot posting editor has returned to normal too. Its good that I managed not to blow my top at my brother without my parents around. Its like, I can only tell him what to do and he refuse, I do it my self. If he wants to be an ass, I'll be an ass too, but a more dignified one. A simple no and smile will drive him crazy. During the first day of the so called "freedom" with out my parents and sister at home, was pretty bleaked, but after a surprised visits from 2 friends, it all seemed worth while. I guess I was in a such good mood, I don't even care the little problems my brother does. That is my parents job to scold him and force him to do something for his own benefit. I can only advise.

Words of a stressed and tensed person, waiting at the Service centre.

These are actually the things I typed while waiting to for my Naza Ria brakes to be fixed, I was there for 3 hours, and alread bored out of my mine. So I decided to type and type and type, till it became this one long entry. Read it, if you dare and if you like automobiles.

Hmm, I was right, as I was typing this, I over heard, this workshop that I got to, is not a Naza approved work shop because for new Naza cars, they don’t have the stamp for new cars. You need this stamp on your service booklet so that you won’t void the warranty of your car. Some people do not like to go the service centre because they claim its to expensive, but if your warranty is void, the repairs and spare parts that could be covered by the warranty is no longer valid and you have to pay for it, just because your lazy ass, won’t go to the official service centers and pay the slightly more expensive fee.

From my point of view, get rid of your car, after 7 years. Yes after 7 years, because nearing 7 years, there will be so many things that needed to be repaired and changed, not because its faulty, but because of normal wear and tear. I don’t know why you want to “rent” a car fro 9-11 years. Yes, “rent” because if you have to pay for that long, you are “renting” the car and not owning it. The worse part, is that you have to pay for the servicing and maintanence, like you own the car. One thing I see people fail to know when buying a new car, is the resale value. If you are the person that changes car every 10 years, then you are safe to buy any brand that fancies your eyes, because by 10 years, hopefully the car loan is already finished and the resale value for most cars is almost the same (meaning you would get like 20-30% of the original price). However if you are the type that wants to change their cars every 3-5 years, well you better choose cars that have a good resale value. How does one know the resale value of a car? You check at the classified section of your favourite newspaper or pick up a copy of used car magazine such as Motor Trader to see the used car price of your model and brand. You can see how much people are selling their car according to the year of the car. It might not be the current model of the car you are driving but if you check the previous versions of the car or other cars in the brand line up, you can see how much the car can depreciate. A rule of thumb is, Japanese car has the best resale value, while continental (European brand) and Korean has one of the worst resale value. Perodua resale value is better than Proton while best selling cars has a better resale value that the rest of the cars.

However some cars seem to break this rule. Although Satria Gti and Putra is from Proton whose car has poor resale value, these cars can still command a 6 figure resale value. For example a 1998 Proton Wira can be bought at around RM 9k, but a 1998 Proton Putra can cost about RM 20k. A normal 2000 Satria can be bought at around 11k but a 2000 Satria Gti can cost you around RM 30k. On the reason for this, is these car are highly sought after by “boy racers” or those who like to modify their cars. Other cars that belong to this group of vehicles whose resale value is shockingly high includes the hunble Perodua Kelisa (it was hail to be the “real” modern day Mini with its handling), 1998 Honda Civic Sir (this the black car with green neo lights under it in the movie The Fast and Furious, the first move), and 1983 Toyota Corolla (this in the legendary drifting car that every drifters knows, that you can watch on Initial D). Best selling cars can have a high resale value or have a shockingly low resale value. The Wira used to be a best selling car but look at it now, the original Proton Saga, even after more than 20 years on the road, still command at least RM 3-4k on the road. The nation best selling car, the Perodua Myvi, even with its cramped bonnet, claimed to be not to be as fuel efficient, its huge rear bumper and flat rear seats, still command at least 50% of its original value after 4 years. Some Korean cars resale value dropped to 30% of the original value after 3 years!!!

These are just some of things one must thing when buying a car. I am not condemning Korean and European cars, in fact, right now they are sometimes much better that the Japanese marques, with the European cars being much more solid and put together, while the Korean could offer everything a Japanese marques can, but at a much lower price. Now the Korean car are even reaching European solidness and the fuel efficiency of Japanese.

Resale value is all about the public perception of the car. If you are the type who like to change cars around 3-5 years, stick to Perodua and Japanese cars, you might sell it off with out paying the bank the remaining balance, or you might sell it off with a profit. However if you feel a car is just a car or that you fell in love with that particular model, used it for up 10 years, and then sell it off, for a down payment of a new car.

Going to service centers is quite stressful for me, which is why I appreciate places where there is Wifi or at least a power point so that I could charge my laptop. I don’t have the luxury of just sending the car to the service centre and then picking it up later

Long Weekend

I feel nauseous. I get carsick easily, which is why I sleep whenever I am in the car and not driving. I "gatal" because I wanted to read the news paper, and end up feeling nauseous and car sick now...

I had a long weekend at Penang. I went there because I want to go to a mini vacation, because I want to be awake when we cross the Penang bridge, because I want to meet a diploma friend and a blogger friend, because I want to go around Penang with someone born and bred in Penang because I want to know more about the current trends and statistics in AIDS in Malaysia.

I need to lie down now...

Hot

Yeah, the weather has been pretty hot lately, everyone is saying it, so I am too :p. For me today it was a bit unbearable. I had a great buffet lunch with lots and lots of food, which includes a chocolate fondue. As the result, I am still digesting the food, even though its already 10pm. Another side effect I did not notice is, I felt much hotter than usual. I guess my body is trying its best to process what I have eaten. No gym tonight T_T but its okay. I don't mind having this big body, because I like food and I will continue to eat. However another inch of my waist is not so bad :p. I am okay, I am fine by my gym. Just like the trainer said, if you are comfortable with what you have now, who are other people to question it?. Back to the issue, I have been trying to sleep with just the fan on, but today is unbearable with my body going to max trying to detox me out, so I feel quite hot, even though I already drank 4 glasses of plain water. Beside its only 26 Celsius. My sister sets the temperature at 16 Celsius. Now that is crazy.

So Hard?

Is it hard to return things that you borrow to where they belong? Is it hard to just ensure whatever you borrow is returned back in a condition where they were borrowed at the first time? Is it hard to return the items that you borrowed before the owners need to use it? Is it hard to ask first? I hate these kind of people. They should replace lab animals so that we can conduct all kind of experiment on them. I mean that would be the only good use to these kind of people. Monday mornings are bad enough, but to be frantically searching for the SMART TAG in the morning, is not a good sight. Stress level high, blood pressure rises, and the liberal usage of profanities is typical on a Monday morning to some but I don’t need extra frustration that is unplanned and easily prevented to be added to my Monday mornings.

SMART TAG is a device where we insert the Touch n Go card in, so that we can use in the SMART TAG lanes. Its those automatic toll paying device, where you don’t have to stop to pay for tolls, but merely slow down till a “beep” is heard to know that you have paid for your toll. Other countries have similar devices that is used for tolls in there highway’s or toll for driving in the city. I live outside of Kuala Lumpur (KL), so most roads that leads into KL is toll based, although there are some toll free roads, the congestion and time it takes, is not worth it. Even my trip to the University cost RM 1 at the toll, I could go into Kajang town and go through 3 traffic lights along with the traffic congestion.

We have 5 SMART TAG devices in our house, because we have 5 cars. This is to prevent from the devices from being transfer from one car to the other car. It’s very stressful to drive a car and then realize when you arrived at the toll booth, the SMART TAG is not in the car, so you had to queue up with the rest of the drivers who are paying cash (the only reason that you need to pay cash now days is because you want to collect the receipt).

It’s so frustrating that even though there is a SMART TAG for each car, sometimes one the car’s will be missing a SMART TAG or a Touch n Go card. Yes, it was missing. Its like WHAT THE F@#K is wrong with you people. WHY THE F#@$ING hell did you have to take it out from my F&#@ING car, when I F&#$ing need it. I don’t borrow your F%$#ing stuff, so don’t borrow my F#@$ing stuff you F##$ing S%$T head.

Not Grrr..

Hmm.. other than gym, going out to meet your friends is also a good way to remove negative energy. Which is why I took a detour from gym and instead hang out with a couple of friends. Its nice to unwind and pretend nothing is this world bother your mind. Some toast, some drinks, and a whole load of laughter is the best medicine for feeling negative.. Of course exercise still rocks :p

A Dream

I had dream that woke me up today to study. I dream't that I was in a Petronas green proton Saga, that was involved in a bumper to bumper accident. We were all driving on the highway, when suddenly the front driver braked, I braked but my car still lunged forward and I crash to the car upfront and then another car crashed my behind, we were still moving at high speed. I swerve to the right and brake again but only to hit another car up front and another car hit me in the back again. I started to pump my brakes so I would warn the drivers behind me that I was braking. I stopped, got out of the car and reviewed the damages. The front bumper was half missing, and the rear was damaged. I made it to a gas station where this one staff was being so Diva because I could not talk to him nicely. Come on my car was damaged of course I am easily aggitated. I was like who need his help, I got the insurance helpline on the windshield. huhu that is why i did not get a Proton Saga BLM, it does not have anti lock braking system (ABS) to prevent the wheel from locking up during emergency braking.

After that the dream gotten weirder. I saw ademonic dog that was raping a woman and then an old grandma walk walked to the that scene. When she turned the women head around, it was not a woman but a demonic cat. Then, the old grandma was feeding the demonic cat lady, kittens..

Demon cat.. (actually a cat that is yawning) I got this picture from here

Good car, but does not have the option of ABS.

Then I woke up.....and another nightmare happened.. but this time, I am awake and the threat is real..