Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Listen... to the song in my heart..

Yeah, the title is the first lyric in a song called Listen, by Beyonce. I think her version is scratchy but I love the American X Factor contestant that sang it.

Anyhow, we all love to talk. I love to talk, its like the thing I do best. I like to share information and tell my experiences to people. Its the best thing in the world to have someone who appreciates what you tell them.

Listening is a good thing to do. Heck, if there were no listeners, how would talkers exist? Might as well go live in cave or talk to a wall and hear your echo coming back to you.

My volunteer work at Petrosains, has honed my talking skills to the max. I know what to say, how to say it and when to say it. They even thought me a talking skill that everyone should do, which is asking questions. No point for us rambling on and on if they don't understand what we are talking about. So we asked them a series of question to test out their knowledge, their mood, their background or if they really want to listen to you in the first place.

So I love it, I think it makes me a better person in general, however one drawback to it, is that I do get more emotional with people when they don't follow the same rules too. The rules that I mean, are the rules of listening. To be a great talker, you need to be have a great listening skills. These are the simple rules of listening

  1. Listen. DUH!!! but actually its something that people don't do that often or even well enough. When someone wants to talk to you about something or share something to you, you need to LISTEN. That means to LISTEN, not talk back, not talk over, don't even talk at all. Its called listening, so LISTEN.
  2. ASK, yes ask questions, but ask the right question. Do not in ANY circumstances, asked them why did they do it in the first place for example "why did you forget?, why didn't you tell them? why didn't you check in the first place, why why why why". Basically WHY is the WRONG question. Instead ask HOW. "How did you forget? How did they not know? How did you know that it was not there in the first place, how how how" WHY questions is intimidating, because it requires the person to give valid reasons of the path they chose and makes them feel threatened. HOW questions invites them to share on the ways that they made to choose the decisions.
Its pretty simple, yet these simple rules are the one people don't follow and it drives me crazy and blistering mad!!!

I would probably argue with them, and they would say its my fault because of my character flaws and that I don't listen to them and then I argue, that they don't listen to me, then we argue some more,, then I pick up bat/rod/knife/shotgun/cannon/laser beams and then.........

Well, I rather not be on the pages on Harian Metro. So instead a cold war begins.

My experiences facilitating at Petrosains has thought me, that when dealing with tough customers, just ignore them and let them be on their merry ways. The key point here is to let them leave my Science Show table aka Hotspot, happy regardless whether they got it right or they got it wrong.

So that is what I do to those self righteous people, ignorant, stubborn, moody, or plain bastards that come in my path. Just let them be right and agree to them They will be happy in the end and you might make a new friend or keep maitaining the old one. I know, because I belong in that nasty group, after all, it takes one to know one.

Just because I let you be right, does not mean you are right or that I agree with you. I just rather do something else, like yawn or scratch my nose.

Anyhow, that is what happens, and will probably continue to happen. WHY? opps I mean HOW?? because that is human nature to do so, and because not everyone trains in Petrosains.

*This could be a great piece for my job interviews....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Over the threshold

Whenever I get stressed I will become this really mean and irritating person. Actually just mention the word thesis already I want to smack you in the face.

But I got over it already. Did I managed to control? Nope the stress level went overy.threshold and as a result I become mellow and now have trouble sleeping. I sleep too much or sleep very little. Only for a few more days...

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Say Nothing

A few times, well that's total bullshit, well countless of times I have been misunderstood. Oooh such #firstworldproblems, but yeah it does happen. The thing I hate about it, is that it pisses me off even more because usually when it does happen it happens when I am venting out steam.

Its the cardinal rule to just agree with whatever anyone is saying when they are venting out steam towards you. Just nod, smile compassionately, make eye contact and say "How did you feel about it?". Seriously its so simple, but them you know, most of us, including myself are self righteous sometimes and we want to correct them.

Sometimes, just say nothing. In fact, that is what I will be doing from now on, especially when it comes to my thesis. Say nothing at all about it, because it just pisses me off and puts me a in a bad mood.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Similairity of a Change

I become just like my dad. The easiest trait, drinking coffee before sleep. It actually helps me stay up and asleep during stressful time. Work related stress? Actually work or volunteering as most people would say, is not stressful at all. There are problems sometimes, but most of it is solved within minutes. Most of the stress comes from home and my thesis. Yes, my thesis. I have done my VIVA, but thesis correction, is so stressful especially when I feel what one of the panel commented and corrected on was wrong. I am not the only one since the other examiner in the panel did not find anything wrong with it.

I promised myself that I would never be the same person as I was before fasting, but I do revert back to myself only during stressful times that relates to something in the past. I am working on it, after all, that dark past is also who I am now. I just have to find a way to managed it better.