Saturday, June 14, 2008

Dating Woes

I recently have gotten out of a relationship. We been dating for a couple of months, just dating to get to know each other better. Alas it just wont work out the way I wanted it to be, so after the truth was told, we decided to be just friends. It would be a big lie to say I was okay with it, I mean when you feel like you found the right person, you already planned the future with them right. It seemed to be an almost perfect picture. However it just never work out, we both have different ideas where the relationship would go, so this clash of interest was not good. I was in denial for a few days where I claimed to be feel better, but I was not. I had a lot of residual anger inside, felt very frustrated and easily ticked off. I mean it something I hoped for a very long time but it did not turn up the way I want. Its not fair to the other party either, but sometimes you just cannot control it. I guess that is how love works, it blinds you, deafen you from logic, heck sometime it makes a new logic to fool your own logical thinking, which is something I have. I found out I never really let it go, that feeling, that relationship, I was still stuck on that day where I faced the truth and actually listen to it.

Its time to for me to let it go, and when letting it go, it means to just be free from the negative energy that surround me. Why the sudden change you may ask, I have a few of YM friends whom know every details of my life whom I talk to regularly. I met some of these people before and but some I have not gotten the chance to meet. Today during another round of emotional breakdown, E, one of my YM friends who listens to all my rants and raves, suddenly SMS me to ask if I was free since E was around my area. I was thrilled actually, my spirits was lifted and I was able to meet this person in real life. E came to my campus and I showed E around my lab, and the Animal house where I housed my mice and parasites.

After that I dragged E to The Mines to get my laptop fixed and we sat at a local kopitiam to just talk, and much as I loved chatting talking in real life is so much better. I felt very at ease with E. I found that E would also like to pursue masters and PhD. E was studying engineering and felt that during E's practical E felt very bored with the job. E love conferences and presentation. That just screams professor to my ears. It felt great to meet people with the same passion and future profession as I am. Even if we study different subjects, in the end, we would understand each other.

E came to KL to help E's friend on something, E was also there to meet M, E's new couple.
Of course I felt very jealous of E's decision to choose M and have M to be E's couple but E has been single for a while and its only fair E's has that happiness too. It just made me realised that its normal to be just not compatible with each other. There will be other people. E's visit today not only gave me a chance to see E's in person but some how E's has made me to just let everything go. I felt so light after meeting E. My mind was clearer and I finally ready to move on.

Thanks E for just being there to listen, I know you will be reading my blog sooner or later, I would skip lab anytime if you took the trouble to visit me :D
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