Anger Management

There is always a song for every emotion that we have. These are just some that I listen too when I am feeling very angry. A good way to release ones anger



I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
and I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could!
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should


I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I know the truth now,
I know who you are,
And i don't love you anymore,
It never was and never will be,
You don't know how you've betrayed me,
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.
It never was and never will be,
You're not real and you can't save me,
And somehow now you're everybody's fool.


p.s dont' worry its not a song targetted at any particular person now, but it does bring back memories.

Tagged with heart

This a tag given by Dibah, a blogger that I recently met during Kak Pinky's dinner. Thanks so much this award :D

My 7 Dream Cars

I got tagged by Khapeace :D (I have been dying to get tagged with this topic)

Volvo XC90, a Volvo SUV that is not only incredibly spacious for 7 adults, its practicality and safety are among the best of SUV.

Honda S2000. This roadster is probably the only Honda right now that is FR (front engine and rear wheel drive). This particular pink version is the same version Suki used in the movie Too Fast Too Furious. Other than dressing up this car to become very girly, it has also has muscle under its hood. The 2.0 litre engine already produces a healthy 250 bhp but this particular pink car with an airbrush chick on its side has a supercharger bolted in to produce 360 bhp. Nothing like girly car that kicks ass on the road :p Ford Kuga, a new generation crossover/light SUV with an ultra efficient diesel engine that is not only clean but very fuel efficient. It handles and looks like a dream since its based on the Ford Fiesta platform

Fiat 500 Abarth. Fiat 500 is a car loosely based on the old Fiat 500. Abarth is a sports version of the Fiat group. Combine them both you get a classic looking car with modern sporty dynamics. It even has 5 stars NCAP rating.

BMW 7 series, a car both limo drivers and passenger love to be in :D. Silky smooth v8 engine that is not only powerful but light on petrol. This is a drivers car :D.

Audi Rs6 Avant with a 5.2 litre V10 engine, a detuned version Lamborghini Galarado engine. What better way to shop at IKEA and carry small furniture in this baby :D.

Mazda Rx8, a personal favourite of mine with my favourite color :D. The same car Wolverine was driving in Xmen 2. It only has a 1.3 litre engine, but its a rotary/Wankel type. So it can produce 250 bhp at 9000rpm :D via its slick 6 speed manual transmission. Did I mention this is actually a 4 door car. Ok not 4 door but 2 door + 2. The rear door will open suicide style or with hinge on the opposite sides. Clever way to allow the rear passenger to enter the car :D.

Teenage Anguish

I just noticed something, if I am not mistaken most of the blogs I read and the blog readers that I know are either single, not married, married with no children yet, or married with children that is under 15. So basically no one is raising a teenager yet. Well I am, for 1 month I am in charge of 1 teenager. Lets see his stats, 18yr old, has a driving license, doing his diploma, plays the guitar and in a rock band, likes to go out and goes to gigs. Does this scream teenage anguish cum rebellious? It does, you can't yell at him or he gets all emo or scremo (emo is a song genre and so is screamo). I am going out of my mind actually on how to deal with him. At least now I know how my mother felt when dealing with him. I wish my dad was here, at least with his authoritative power and the right to give him a good smack would deal him good.

190e spoiler.

I skipped lab today because I had errands to do (also because I kept rolling in bed till 10 am) all because I wanted to find a replacement spoiler to my 190e Mercedes which was stolen a month ago :(. Not to mention I have to paint the front bumper that was replaced. Also my Viva which was scratched by the fallen roof tiles and my sister's Myvi, which is already in a terrible condition for scratches and minor accidents. Also our brand new Accord which my mother brand newly scratched while trying to squeeze in the brand new porch that was brand new built... That lucky paint shop is going to get a lot of business from us.

A Quarter.

A quarter, an American coin value. I am also a quarter of a century, and I grew with a hint of American values when my family and I stayed there for a few years. Quarter of century is 25 of a 100, or 1/4 of 100. 25 more than eligible to vote, more than legal to drink in everywhere in the world, last year to be considered as young adult. Gee. 25 huh.. I can't say I am happy nor can I say I am sad. I guess I feel so indifferent. Looking back one year ago, it has been the most important year in my life. It has define who I am and where I want to be. It is the pivot of my life of where I want to head. People told me I am wiser beyond my years, I mean I have to believe since people who I communicate through the Internet via chats, blogs and profiles on the net who most never able to see me in real life told me I am. Am I? I guess when you start to worry whether your siblings have enough money, whether they are being fed, are they doing well enough in their exams, is the house locked, will thieves come and break in my house, i can't just go out carefree as usually without worrying them.. Hmm perhaps..

25.. 25 to life.... Do I regret what happened? Not really..I do wish I could do it differently but that is just cheating now right.. Another year passed and another year awaits me.

The Satay Dinner

Last Saturday was the day of our beloved Kak Pinky arrival to Malaysia from New Zealand. She had a satay dinner planned and I helped her organized the event. I booked the restaurant of her choice, Satay Hj Samuri in Kajang. The one near the Kajang Stadium and across the Kajang Police Station. The event was planned to start at 9.30 but due to Kajang famous traffic jam, most guest arrived near 10pm.

There were 16 people that was on Kak Pinky's list that she gave me on our YM chats which include various bloggers, facebook member, a few of Kak Pinky's friends and her sister. Male guest includes Abg Bear, Dr Shah (Zharn), Dr Josh, Dr Syuk, Hamzan, Ad, Wahdi, Kak Pinky's sisters male friend and conicidentaly a friend that Kak Pinky befriended on her flight home which was actually Josh's church member. Female guest includes Dibah, Dr Shah, Kak Pinky's friend and Kak Pinky's own flesh and blood sister. There were missing guest that were missed dearly which includes Hairie, Hamdi and En Arip. We wished you were here :).

It was my first time meeting Ad and Wahdi after reading their blogs for quite sometime now. Finally I get to see Ad's full face :D and get to see the man behind all the breath taking photographs, nice cars, and saliva inducing recipe, Wahdi :D. You will probably get to read and see the nice looking pictures and their blogs but here is my snippet of pictures I snapped using my VGA camera. Coincidentally, it was Kak Pinky's first time to meet the majority of the bloggers here but since we already knew each other very much through calls and chats, we got along instantly :D.

Wahdi gave Kak Pinky a special and very intriguing present. I was actually baffled of what the food item was. They look like fuzzy pink hamburgers. Kak Pinky was sweet enough to split the food item to us. OMG! they were actually coconut candy sweets!! with melted chocolate marshmallow in the middle!!. WHOA!!! and coconut itself was pink!!!. So cool!! :D

This is Dr Dibah (I did not know she was a Dr until I read Ad's blog) she brought these really cute looking pink frosted cupcakes with the names of the guest that she got written on top.

They were so cute! Unlike other cupcakes I tried, these cupcakes had sweet frosting on top instead of just cream and butter frosting. YUM!!!. I enjoyed the night every much and it was nice meeting old and new friends. Thank god everything went well :D and there were no hiccups with the dinner :D.

Bumper to Bumper, Wallet to Register

Our 190e had a huge crack on its bumper and also it was also in the process of falling off. Rather than taking the chance to scrap the road with the bumper, we had to get it changed.

Cars in the 80s and early 90s used to have heavy bumpers that required you to fasten it to the body of the car with a lot of screws and nut. My mother rear ended a Waja with our 190e. The Waja had suffered from crumpled bumper right into the bonnet well and had its reverse sensor broken. While our car suffered just a scratch on the bumper.

One problem with this car is the sparsity of spare parts. For example this cooler for the air conditioner had to be taken off a lorry. As a result the fan that cools the radiator and cooler for the air conditioner system protrudes out.


This Taiwan made bumper could not accommodate the fan, so we had to make an alteration to it.

They had to cut a hole in the middle so that the fan could spin properly to cool the engine and the air conditioner system. Total cost, RM 750. Its a nice car to own and will always be the centre of attention but like any supermodel the maintenance is quite high. I really want to keep this car because so many first things happened in this car.

A thin white line in the sky

I was always a person who is very independent. I do my own things at my own pace using my own method. Somehow lately I was just so busy trying to catch up with everyone else and trying to blend in, I almost lost myself. I actually had to take a deep breath and hold back a while. Why would I want to try so hard to blend in or pretend to be someone I am not. Its like, screw them all. Like me as I am or just don’t like me at all. Its sounds strong right, but it’s the best thing for one self. However you can’t be yourself totally. In some situation you just have to bend a bit. I mean how you act in front of your parents is different how you act with your friends. Even with friends there are different way to mingle with different friends. You don’t want to lose your self but also you don’t want to end up being a complete fake. There is thin line that separates them both.

A song from Camp Rock. I like it, its has a good message of being proud of oneself

Service, Mice, Petrol, Travel and Worry

Popular Bookstore. I used to go to its branch in Sg Wang 10 years ago to buy music since I obtained their discount card. Now very rarely go here. However I like to point out the bitch.. oppps I mean store clerk is a total bitch. She crumpled my magazine to scanned it and did not smile or even make an eye contact when she dealt with me. I will banish this store forever from my list. I should come back and check if there is any complaints form available there.

Finally some of my female mice got pregnant. According to her size, she should have a good batch of litter. No need for me to buy new mice.

Hmm while fueling up today on my drive to Perak, I noticed the fuel price went lower again, which is good news. The bad news is even though petrol prices are down, none of the goods that went on a price hike, lowered their price too.

Online Check in, the next best thing since cheap mobile cellphone rates. Emirates has an online check in so that one does not have to come 3 hours early or que up to check in. You only have to come in 90 minutes early from your flight to check in your baggage and the online check in counter has far shorter que.
We sent my mother to Sudan via Emirates airline at KLIA. She will be staying with my dad for a month in Sudan. Which means just us 5 siblings in the house for the whole month. The irony is today is the exact same date my mother left us when she performed Haj last year. Strange though I feel sadder now and felt even more worried than I did last year. Heck I been worried and paranoid all week long. God knows where I got the strength to drive all day today. I been driving for about 8 hours today, from Kajang to UiTM Seri Iskandar Perak and back and then Kajang to KLIA and back. I was flooring our MPV to Perak and lucky enough we did not get a ticket during a roadblock that was held a few kilometers before the Tapah Rest area. Funny enough the people who were driving fast on the highway were those driving MPVs with big engines (Naza Ria, Estima, Alphard, Oddysey. etc). The big capacity engine in these vehicles, makes driving feeling very relaxed at 130km/h.

Hmm almost end of the year already, 3rd semester is over. What have I accomplished? Bad dreams began to appear, getting sick more often, feeling paranoa more often....

Tagged

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!.
2) DON'T change your clothes, DON'T fix your hair...just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instruction with your picture.
5) Tag 10 people to do this

Yup this was a picture when I took when I first read that I was tagged by Josh and Amad. I was just about to get sick. As I am writing this, I am still sick. Not to mention I woke up feeling very paranoid. I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and a stomach ache. I had a dream where I was in secondary school and a very pessimistic teacher was making it hard that I could not answer her test. I panicked in the dream because I cannot comprehend the question. I woke with a cold sweat and I did not felt like going to lab. As I am writing this, a strong surge of paranoia stirs inside of me making me nervous..

Worried

Well my internet connection is fully functional now. I finally changed our MPV rear tires. I finally put away all my clothes into the closet. I accompany my mother to the salon to get her hair rebonded and I came sane and did not dye my hair in the process. Went back to the gym to get my money worth. All in all this supposed to be a great weekend, but it does not feel that way.

I am just worried about things now. Many things circulated in my mind and it seems that I don't know which to deal first.

On the other hand I saw this sweet little ride at my gym today. The Lotus Elise.

This car sits really low on the ground. I mean the driver head rest is as tall as my side mirror. The car is remarkably light. Its lighter than my Perodua Viva. That is why it needs only a 1.8 liter engine to drive it.

Still down

grrrr. i plan to bring hell to the streamyx department. if i don't make one of their operators quit their job then i am not being devilish enough...

tak dpt nak update

argghh stremyx banggang dah dekat 5 hari tak leh online kat rumah

High School Musical 3

"We're all in this together, once we know, that we are we're all stars and we see that" Gosh I got that song stuck in my head, because Disney kept reruns of that show permanently on Disney Channel. I can't believe there is 3 installment of this movie and I can't believe I am watching. Even more unbelievable there will be an 4th installment of this movie... However the movie was not half bad, although my sister and I were giggling all the way trying to guess when they would break into a song :p. All in all the movie is not that cheesy and there is a story behind it. I think you should follow the 1st and 2nd movie before you watch this one. If you have no time, go and ask any 7-12 year old children and they would tell you in detail of what happened, since they are the die hard fans of the show and would watched the reruns, follow the dance move and sing the songs. Well rather than tell you all about the movie why don't we take a look of some of the famous characters in the movie. I give this movie a 9 out of 10. The songs are great, the choreography are well done and they produced actors and actresses that can sing, dance and act. Not bad, maybe they are following the footsteps of Asian artist that can do all of that. I did enjoy the movie despite the corniness and the need to dance every 15 minutes (not me but the movie itself) :D. Now lets bitch about the actors shall we..

Zach Efron, the lead actor in high school musical. The guy who children, pre teens, teens, post teens and gays love. He is back with his role and the basketball player with passion for theater. He got a bit more muscular with his define arms. You can see the green vein very clearly on his arms. I saw him other than in this movie in CSI Miami, with his well highlighted hair coloured dark brown. I heard he takes care of his hair more than his girl friend Vannessa does :D. Anyway as long as he does not get drunk, do drugs or get into a gun fight. We be seeing many of this bleach highlighted pre teen hero for a long time.

Vannessa Hudgens, our lead actress of the movie. I love her single "Come Back to Me" and still do. Quite catchy. She is quite a dish with her short skirt/dress and a rather low cut top/dress to reveal her boobies. Like anyone has not seen it, he naked picture is all over the net but that was when she and her boobies was smaller. She is an exotic blend of Irish, Native American, Filipino, Spanish and Chinese. Vanessa does a pretty good job singing and dancing since she has done other works prior to High School Musical. Lucky for her, her naked underage pics (I believe she was 14 at time and that picture was for a guy, the guy who played dragonfly in Hero Movie or something) Anyways I think she looks hot, did I mention about the low cut top and short2 skirts which makes me wonder what did they do to prevent her skirt from flashing her panties to the whole world. I was waiting for that to happened during the scene where they (she and Zach) were dancing on the roof.

Cordin Bleu (Bleu, that is brand of mineral water right? I wonder if his family gets a share of the profit?). This blend (I make it sound like a expensive coffee drink :D) of Jamaican and Italian ancestry has back ground in balet and jazz. His exotic looks has landed him gigs in modelling as a child and a few roles in TV. He even starts in Disney TV movie about a boxer who likes to double dutched. It seems Disney love to break the stereotypical roles or cliques status quo in all of their movie. Anyways I just cannot get over his hair. Its like their and is in my way. I mean what if he shaved it off. Heaven forbid he will be like that guy who won second place in the first American Idol after Kelly Clarkson. He shaved it off and then soon disappeared from the world. I wonder if its his real hair or does its a weave (a weave is hair that is sewn to your original hair that has been corn roll, corn roll is a method where African people tie their hair to the scalp)

Ashley Tisdale, this bottle blond girl (most girls are bottled blonde meaning they had their hair bleached or coloured to blond) is the snobby bitch of the movie who has evil schemes under her sleaves to destroy anyone in her path of stardom. They portrayed her as being evil but at the end of each movie 1,2 and 3 she became nice. Its just too weird for me. Ashley also had a nose job because she claimed her septum is 80% closed. Hmm no wonder her nose looked crooked and she sounds so nasally. She is also one of the lead actress in the hit Disney sitcom, "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody". Ashley also lends her voice in a cartoon called Phineas and Ferb as Candice Flyn, the annoying older sister, a cartoon that I loved to watch if I have the time. Ashley, like Vanessa, has an album with she wrote 4 songs in it. Her first single "He says, She says" is a nice number for dancing and stuff.

Lucas Grabeel the suspipicouly gay looking guy who plays the fraternal twin of Ashley in this movie. He is constantly taking second place behind his sister but for the second and third installment of the movie, he takes on bigger role as the choreographer. I don't have much dirt on this guy because he seems to be clean. He is however one of the older bunch of the cast, since he is 23.

Monique Coleman, is the so called nerd/white acting black girl/valedictorian. She also plays the same character on high school musical. She is a talented women, she is the oldest of the bunch, she is 28 this year, whom has directed, written and acted in a one women play in a hall where there are no seats, whom audience came in the hundreds. Her weight seemed to fluctuate from HS 1, HS 2 and HS 3. She got pretty big in the promotion of High school musical 2 and got back to being slim in HS3. I wonder she is doing that for a role in a play or something. On The Tyra Banks Show, she said her role in HS was made for a white girl, but she went ahead and tried for it. Hmm I guess that why she portrayed as being quite white in that film.

This Russian chick (Russian? No wonder she looks European) is Olesya Rulin, who plays the the girl who plays the piano/composer and writer in HS. She really is Russian because she migrated to the US when she was 8. She stills writes and speaks in fluent Russian. In Disney channel it was shown that she does not really plays the piano instead she just acts like she is playing it.

This guy is the youngest of the bunch (18 yrs old). He is Chris Warren Jr whose mother played Whitney Russels in the daytime soap opera, Passions. Chris plays the character Zeke, a closeted chef in the movie. Although in real life he loves to bake, he is not sure he can make a creme Le brule. This guy one of the taller cast of the HS cast and also the most buff. He was really scrawny in HS 1 but I think due to the fact he probably has just started puberty. Now you can clearly see his strong shoulders and in one of the musical scenes you can see his very very very well defined abs. Damn, its like a compulsory for all black guys in the US to be really muscular... This makes me want to run more at the gym, since I gained way to much weight. My thighs are rubbing again.. shit!!!.

Hmm

dah bersawang blog nih.. lama tak update..maybe i ran out of ideas..hmmmm

No Entry

Blocked

Filled

No trespassing.

This a new security system in my house developed by my lovely oldest sister. She parked her car so that all normal entries to the front door is inaccessible. The only way you can walk to the front door is to walk outside the house all the way to the back of the house and to the door and hope it is unlocked and then walk all the way to the front door and enter..

Broken

You know what is this? This was the place where the spoiler for my car was.

Someone yanked, pulled or pry the screwed spoiler off my car's bonnet while the car was parked outside of my house. Why this car for goodness sake.. and the spoiler was already in a bad condition. Its going to be hell to find the spare part. I check one half cut shop and they have a spoiler with 2 extra fins that with add 2 extra hole to my bonnet and it cost be a bloody RM 250.....

The front bumper is cracked and is just waiting too fall down. A new bumper cost almost RM 700 and not including installation. These are not your clip on bumpers like on the Protons and Perodua. The are solid metal covered with plastic that are screwed to the body just like those old Proton Saga in the early 80s. Sigh.. these are the challenge of owning an old car that is German and is not local...

Greener Grass..

I am feeling very pissed off today. I am really angry with just about everything in life right now. I am being very anal with everything now. So many thing to write, to bitch about, but I think I will just list down two.

• You are lucky, you are still a student. Student life is easy, everything is taken care off.

Oooh I absolutely love to dread this statement from those who are working. I am just wondering which level of education are they talking about? Secondary, diploma and degree have pretty much the same concept. Go to class, there is a person in front of you giving you lessons, you do homework and then you take a test. Simple life really and I do agree with that. When else can spend half of your day hanging out with your friends. Maybe these people are saying this type of student life. However, have they tasted post graduate school A.K.A MSc and PhD ? This is radically different from what we are used before. No more cramming 30 in a class, instead you have very small pupils in a class unless the class in combined with Phd, MSc students from many courses. I was the only student in my class in first semester. Can you imagine just you and the professor head on. Something that will permanently etched in my mind. What about homework, well there is none. Lucky? not really, what you do have is plenty of hemorrhaging causing journals to be read, presentations to be done and experiments to be performed. Speaking of experiments, usually they will fail at the first, second, third, fourth and fifth time. So you end up trying and trying it until you get it. Holiday? What holiday? there is no holiday during your post grad studies. There is sneaking out or lying to your advisor but there is no holiday per say. Yes I agree working life is stressful, all the stories I hear from my working friends about their problem with their bosses, clients and colleagues really scare me. Yup I hear all these stories while riding their nice cars, eating with them a really nice restaurants, fooling around with their PDAs and Ipods, and looking at the nice photos they took during their trip to Australia. I be happy if I get to go to another state other than my kampung.

Student life less stressful than working life? Only if you are doing secondary school, diploma or degree. Not MSc or PhD. I think many of those who graduated would resist beating the life out of a person who asked do you want to do your MSc or PhD again....

• You are lucky to be living with your parents. Free food, nice bed, free utilities, freshly wash clothes. That is the good life.

Yah sure everything is nice but you must remember you live with your parents. Unless your parents are hippies and let you roam around as you wish. Its not exactly something you want to do forever. I have strict parents. My mother would freak if we don't return by sundown. My dad says as long as we are his children, whether we are 2, 12, 22, or 42, he will always be right and we would always be wrong. My mother loves to ask about my friends. Who are they, their names, where are they from, what does their parents do for a living. The best question would probably comes after she ask how old they are. If they are 28 and above her next question would be "are they married" if I said no, she would ask "why are they not married yet?".......... I cringe at that question which I don't even asked to people, which I feel is very very personal. So tired of having to deal with all the cars at my house. 5 cars in total, for me to take care off. I can't get my brother to take care of it because my mother feels he is too young to take care of it but she lets him drive it everywhere. Yup the little shit head can get away with murder I bet once he shows his sad puppy face to my mother.

Well all type of torture has to end someday. My master will end soon and I do hope I get a job far far far far away from home. Heck I finally be able to throw a makan2 and invite my friends over for a chance. Just me and my own baggage to take care off..