So many things to write but at the same time so little has been done. There is this ritual and cycle of destruction that I have, that is not normal. Its beyond mortal comprehension of the things that I do. It scaring me now. It’s a terrible cycle, terrible indeed. So terrible, I could be on Oprah. This cycle or habits is destroying me and is going to affect those around me. Do I need to go rehab? A place where my every movement is under control? Where my actions are constantly monitored and my choices are judged? Maybe I do? Sigh, where did I lose myself? When did I become so sensitive with how people think of me? When did I stopped and think, instead of just doing it. Its not even thinking, more like stalling, stuttering. Its sad, and people do see it around me. Drastic changes need to be done.. really drastic actions. I hate it… but I have too.. sigh…where did that person inside of me go.. I really miss him…..