Monday, March 22, 2010

Emo Management

I seriously need a class for emotional management. I just don't know how to channel it. Happy, sad, anger, frustration, is boredom considered a feeling? If it is I need to know where to slot it too. I feel incredibly helpless when I cannot channel it properly. Its terrible and gives me a negative out look on life. I feel like I look like crap today. T shirt to tight, slacks to loose, skin too greasy, glasses to geeky, facial hair to messy, hair look kinda bullshitty. It seemed that I did not pay attention to my self but usually though, when I actually stopped thinking about it, I seem to come out well dressed and coordinated. I should go back to lenses and go clean shaven again. They work out much nicely.

I tried to roast some nuts and end up burning them because I was so consume with anger and not knowing how to manage it. The first tray of cookies burned because I set the time wrong, but at least the cookies turned out nicely since I used a baking sheet. No need to grease the tray anymore and the cookies spread out nice and even. I think they are more crispy that usual. However I may need to reduce the brown sugar a bit and maybe use equal amounts of brown sugar and white sugar so that it won't be so caramelized.

Karma works wonderfully right? Especially around relationship. You got person you don't like chasing after you but at the same time the person you like so much end up not interested enough to be serious with you. Ouch, how cruel karma is to us all, but then it is being fair after all. What we lack in one part of life is being balanced by having something more in other parts of life. Owh fickly karma, fate, qada and qadar. I guess no matter what beliefs you held in your heart, you believe in some sort of power.

I am very expressive in my feelings, not being able to expressed is pure torture. I do feel like I am being tortured now slowly each day for every time I had to just let it go. They say to let it go, but I don't want to.. So how?
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