Over

I am addicted to soft drinks lately. Its my type of alcohol, its my drug. Thank goodness we rarely have it at home if not, I will have a bottle in my room for my own guilty pleasure
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Houses to Houses

I was almost proactive going from house to house this weekend. First it was my aunts and uncles new Semi D just 10 minutes from where we live. They already have renovations done including flower carved iron wrought grill, and an extended kitchen. The kitchen is quite big, although the cabinets haven't been set up just yet. My aunt had two stove tops installed, one is a conduction stove, and the other is the normal gas stove. It was nice indeed along with the standard fitment of gas hood. She had this huge fridge too, which is even nicer. I then hung out at a friends house, in those high rise condo near KLCC. I liked his kitchen too, complete with everything you need to make magic in the kitchen. We all then went to another friend place in Pantai Hillpark for a dinner party. His kitchen was nice also, with built in oven, and one the rarest thing to have in Malaysia, a dishwasher. Its something I want in my house too :D. I love the look at the kitchen and bathroom of other peoples house. Its actually a good way to know how clean they are. If their bathroom are clean, the rest of the house will be as clean as well. If the kitchen is fully stock with appliances, dishes, and other accessories, you know they love having dinner at their place. My friend told me, if the porch, lawn, or balcony is well furnished, their interior house will be much more well furnished. So far its true in so many times, except for one of my friends place. The balcony is sparse, no make that, there is nothing there except dead plants clothes rack, but his house is fully furnished.

One word

It kinda sucked that one word can just spoil my whole day. Its just words right. Still it can just piss me off easily. Simple words such as "I still miss you" repulses me as much as I want it to be true. "I want you" sounds fantastic but only if I want them too. They say relationships are supposed to be easy, well that is a bunch of bullcrap. Well at least this could a good experience for me ya...
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Geram

Geramnya rasa. Kenapa ada orang yang boleh menenangkan kita, tapi ada juga yg kita rasa macam nak amik senapang gajah dan tembak mereka. Aku betul-betul tak suka kalau orang yang aku kenal mempertikaikan apa yang aku buat atau kata. Perlu kah kau tahu apa yang aku buat dan kenapa? Ada aku tanya kenapa ko buat sebegitu dan mengapa kau cakap seperti itu? Aku suka kau, tetapi tolonglah, bila aku dah naik menyampah tu, diam la saja, kenapa kau hendak juga buat aku naik angin.
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Forgotten

Sometimes, it slips my mind to just do it. No hesitation just pure instinct.
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Betrayed

I had never felt so betrayed in my life. So weird, now I know how it feels. Now I know the biggest lesson of them all. When people confide something to you, just keep quiet. Simple. Then everything will be okay. Opening your mouth is like opening a pandora's box, soon you be soo mis quoted, it gets insane, unless you record every conversation that you have, you can never remember or used what you said before.

Plan changes

I hate it when plan changes. I wanted to service the mercedes but I ran out of oil, so I had to buy one without the 30% employee discount my sister could becoz I wanted to save time. I wanted to find out if the window was malfunctioning only to find out my brother forgot to mention that they switched the rear window button with the front. When I asked about the ringing sound of the exhaust it end up being the starter dying on me. When I asked about our Myvi engine mounting cost, our mechanic replied it would cost us nearly RM 1000 but when I called Perodua, it cost only RM 550. When I called Perodua about my Viva parts, one of the parts which was the driver seat plastic side mold was still not available. The Naza Ria door lock is still broken and not repaired because my mechanic has not updated me, or the supplier has not updated them, which means I may have to drive to a Naza SC which is far in the heart of Cheras to get the parts. Don't I have a reason to go absolutely berserk now? Honestly if you were in my shoes....
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Sick Off

Aren't you sick of my irritating emo post? Sure it makes interesting read, but its the same dull thing really. Life does not have to suck that much really. I guess this is just an outlet to let go of some steam. Although I love to give my greatest gratitude for those who seem to able to just click on my link whether on a friends blog or the search engine. Its almost the end of the year, almost the end of my master and I feel helpless sometimes. Maybe its procrastination, maybe its just moody, maybe I just can focus well.

This so called moodiness and irritation probably originated from my dad. It could be genetics because it seems he is able to be ticked off without a moments notice, just like how I can be. Its very bad to suddenly go berserk for no apparent reason, apparently all the men in this family does it from time to time, but we do have a mother, so some of her traits must be buried deep under that male testosterone.

Maybe its because I woke up quite late today, or shall I say my normal wake up time. Or its because I almost thought, it was still the weekend. Anyways, I feel I should let this be a setback, even though I do stay at home more often that I should. Its usually filled with household errands. Another brother in the house is quite useless really, and to limit my confrontation with him, I prefer to just have very little contact with him regardless of my mood. Since most of the time I want to chew his straighten hair head off. Let's just say in the future, he WILL NEVER STAY IN TE SAME HOUSE as I do. I would rather pay him to live somewhere.

Its sucked that there is 6 cars in the house. Sure its sounds great, but in reality, 4 of them is my responsibility, and if I haven't driven it for a long time, something is bound malfunction, since 3 of the 4 cars under my care is more than 4 years old. I don't get it why would you get a 9 year hire purchase loan for a car. After the 4th year, problems will appear, and you need to pay for the repairs while still paying for your car loan. Very few would actually finish paying their cars within 5 years, and even rarer will pay them in 3 years. Although this limits then to Viva and Saga, at least they would be smiling since they are not paying that much interest rate.

My Viva is paid in 7 years, so that is not so bad at all, plus there is a 3 year factory warranty and a extended 3 year insurance warranty. The factory warranty covers everything while the insurance warranty cover around 3/4 of it, but that is okay. Anyways perhaps I should take the opportunity of waking up late to service our aging 18 year old Mercedes, its becoming a family heirloom now. At least that would make me feel much better this irritating Monday morning

Thinking

*Warning another disgustingly emo post, please visit my friends blog which are much more up beat and cheerful. You have been warned.

I was on cloud 9 for about a week, then I came crashing down since reality finally caught up with me. Apparently reality has another story regarding my cloud 9 experience. Its harsh, but at least its the truth, besides, its only been one meet and almost 2 weeks, its hardly anything, but I guess the damaged from my last breakup only managed to show up now. I will take it cool now, and accept whatever has been dealt with me. Things were different 2 years ago, many things had happened, many people I have known. One thing for sure, I will be as truthful to myself and at the same time being optimistic while being grounded. I think I should face it head on personally rather than asking around. Don't you like that you get the answer by yourself or that you learn about it yourself? Well I am definitely trying.

Bella Swan into Bella Cullen

I have nothing to write actually, since Twilight and New Moon is the rage right now, might as well make it into a blog post :p, and get more hits :p. Its not like I am typing something against my own will. Thanks to boredom and curiosity I managed to read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse. I already asked my youngest sister to get the Breaking Dawn book back from her friend. As you know these are all the books in the Twilight Saga. So for this entry, I plan to write about the main character in all of these books, which is Isabella Marie Swan, or better know as Bella (Bella is the Italian word for beautiful).

Bella is described as a character that is quite matured for her age. This is because she takes care of her mother who is more spontaneous and quite forgetful sometimes. When staying with her father at Forks, she takes care of the house such as doing laundry, making dinner and cleaning up the house. Bella and Jacob jokes with each other, saying that they are both in their 30s and 40s. Even her mother Renee agrees that Bella is much older than her age. Bella is a sarcastic person and loves to use this in her humour for example when people asked her why she is so pale even though she lived in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, she just replied with a straight face that she is part albino (not true at all, her mom and dad are normal). She can be incredibly self centered sometimes, when Edward open up to her and told that he can read everyone minds except her, the only thing she worried was that there was something wrong with her because her mind was unreadable. It even goes on when Jacob told her that he does not age as fast as normal human, Bella freaked out because Edward is immortal and she is getting older each day because unlike Jacob the werewolf and Edward the vampire, she is human. There is a excerpt in the book where she screamed out of frustration to Jacob "You're a werewolf, Edward's a vampire... so?? I'm a Virgo!!!" That just made laugh so hard =)). Bella self centreness even goes to assume that if Angela, one of her close human friend, is a witch, she could join the party of the immortals. She can be selfish for wanting to be a vampire as soon as possible so that she could spend the eternity with Edward.

It shows that Bella has no problems with vampires, but only the Cullens, since when Edward wants to introduce her to his vampire family , all she worries is that they might not like her, instead of thinking she could be their next meal. Bella however shows strong fear against other vampires such the human blood drinking vampires such as The Volturi when she was frightened when the The Volturi had a meal with tourist that they rounded up in a guided tour.

Bella is the girl who fell in love with a vampire and ends up becoming one. As you can see, these the artist impression of how Bella would look like as a vampire. In the Twilight Saga, vampired have pale ivory white skin, devoid of imperfections with dark purple circles under their eyes. Since these are "vegetarian" vampired meaning that they only drink animal blood, their eyes are the color of honey or butterscotch. They have increase speed, strength and senses. Their skin is cold and hard as marble. They are immortal and only can be killed if they are cut into pieces and burned. If you don't burn the pieces, the pieces will start to connect to each other and the vampire will be healed.

Some vampires will have special abilities that they carried from their former lives, such as Edward empathic feeling toward other allowed him to read minds, while Jasper charisma for increasing the morals of his soldiers around him allow him to control their feelings. Bella is special since when she was human she can block any mental attack or powers that is directed to her such as Edwards mind reading power and Jane pain inducing mental powers. After being transformed into a vampire, she was told by a nomadic vampire that her power is a type mental shield to protect her from mental attacks. Bella was taught by Kate, a vampire from the Denali coven whose power is to generate electricity from her skin, to project her shield so that it will cover the people around her. This ability is very valuable to the Cullens family to avoid any future threats from vampires who try to hurt them. Bella shield ability, along with Edward mind reading, Alice future readings, and Jasper emotion control, the Cullens family are probably the strongest vampire coven in the book.

Dreams.. Aren't you sick of this post...

They say if you wanted something to be in your dreams, just before you sleep or about to fall asleep, you need to think about that particular thing. If it works the thing that you thought about before you fall asleep, will become your dream, or better yet your lucid dreams. It means that dream is the world that you wanted it to be, and you retain control of it. So whatever the problems that you want to layout will be there. There is a limitation of things that could happened there. For once everything is under your control so whatever that happens in your dreams is how your subconscious mind predicts it. Its a like a sandbox where you can create and do whatever that you wish. Its fun to be the ruler of your own world without any of the responsibilities that comes with it...

I almost did not want to wake up from it, because reality is so harsh..

Talking or no talking

This is the second series of the talking subject. Right now, I did very little talking. Why? for once our lab tech has gone for a month long class for her degree. Second, I find that most of the stuff that comes out of my mouth with my close friends is about embarrassing things that happened to other people. That means 80% of the time I talk rubbish to them. Its kinda sad and pathetic isn't. So I try to not say anything remotely related to it, and all I got was plenty of awkward and silence moments.

I feel like I had withdrawal syndrome from this thing. I got very restless and easily angered. I was incredibly angry at the Celcom operator for not being any help at all to me. Road rage also increased, even though I drove a small sub compact. Its kinda scary how much just telling juicy details of a private life is so intoxicating.

I guess this is why we love to read trashy magazines and newspapers that only points out each person flaw. Its kinda funny that among the important people currently in my life now, two of them have heard stories about each other, and yet they barely know each other. Its was funny because I knew both of the rumors were not true at all, since I know them both very well. Now all I have to do, is to keep their heads from butting in each other.

Well I am gonna see, how long can I keep my trash talking to a bare minimum. I did talk some trash to a friend via blackberry but only because he was going to the same thing I was going through, and he does not have a clue who was I talking about. Some more he belongs to different clique, but then people get to know each other. Before you know it, stories have travelled faster than some downloading porn movies..

Talking

Talking, its something I love to do. Every one I knows know how much of a talker I am. Sometimes I make a great company when you are bored, but I can talk you to death, boredom or till you go insane. Its something that absolutely love to do, despite sometimes ago I feel like a quite person, which is total bull crap really. I love to talk, to communicate, to sms, to instant messaging, especially with my Blackberry Messenger. However, there is a secret I have that I do with talking, sometimes people caught me off guard doing this, and I have to sheepishly admit that I actually did it.

I talk to myself, by myself, against myself or have a complete monologue with myself. I do this everywhere I go, usually I think people don't noticed it, but sometimes people caught me off guard mumbling to myself. My lab mates and staff all have caught me talking in serious tone or laughing out loud to myself. All them had this bewildered look, whether Budlee has gone off the deep end or something. Well to late, I have gone off the deep end, fell down and now in the valley of insanity.

Its something I do to calm myself or to make things more clearly to myself. There are times where my friends are not available to me, so I had to talk to someone, so I ended up talking to myself. Sometimes I pretend the person I wanted to talk too was there too. I make a perfect audience to myself, someone who listen, give feedback and don't ask question that I could not ask. I am doing a lot of that know, even more, probably because I am beginning to start a new relationship and I am freaked out that I might freak this new person out with my freakish behaviour, now doesn't that sound freaky.

Well we all have our own ways to escape from the real world now and then. That is my why, how yours? how do you escape your reality?