Monday, October 19, 2009

Dear U

This is an open letter to U. U is not someone, or something. It’s abstract, a manifestation of recent events that crowded my mind. Before all of you judge it, trust me, U will not be reading this, I don’t think U know the existence of my own personal space on the internet. U is not a person but a recollection of feelings, rants and rage. An epitome of this blog of the things that can manifest in me. Instead of guessing who or what U is, just read, perhaps it brings your own rage and problems that you have solved or have put it behind you.

Dear U

We grow weary of your tantrums. We understand you are under pressure, but we are not a cushion that you can yell and get upset to release the frustration you have from missing a turn to the airport. You never told us you could not see well in the night anymore. Remember some of us have valid license too, we all can drive you to the air port too. Probably not 20 minutes but 35 minutes. You should stop getting mad on the road, not every body drives 150km like you do. Just slow down, wait for a gap and leave them behind, and don’t get irritated just because some other car is faster than you. U, you really need to stop and see what you are really doing to the people around you. Some people will push you away, and some have left you already in spirit, all that is left is the punching bag that you mold them into. Just because we share the same genes, does not make you more superior. Even though religion and culture inclines you to have the upper hand, how much before it turns you into a joke to us. We given up already U, you have gotten worser as you age, unlike cheese that grows nice by the age, you became a fungus on a wall that becomes uglier as time go by. U, if people know who you really are, our thoughts, feelings and hurt will probably not be accounted for, just because of your status in life. Congrats you found away to change people into a doormat, but surely enough we will leave you someday, and they day you wonder what went wrong, it will be too late.

U, what happened to us? We used to be so close, so together, so in love. What happened? It is because of distance? Age difference? Social status? Education? It has been two months since we last met. You said would see us, but you had no time. We understand if you have to spend time with your family, family as in your family that can give you an organ in case you needed a new one, but your god family/adopted family. You would go all the way to meet them but not us? Are we not family too? We thought that since you had to take care of your brother, we given you space to breath, but who knows, you would still have time to ditched your brother at your sibling house to help a friend out in a location just 15 minutes away from me? We thought by given you an actually space so that you don’t have to travel, yet somehow you managed to do it so. You lost your phone for days, we thought you got run over by a lorry, you just did not have the time to sms us you lost your phone. We felt so unworthy of your attention that we did not even want to see you. We did try, but you gave that golden word “We’ll see how”. That is the word we use to ditched people we don’t like who asked us out. We listened to our friends and looked backed at our past experienced. We are not sure anymore about you. Perhaps it is the beginning of the end.

U, why is it so hard to work with you? Its almost 3 years already, we been together. Aren’t you tired of us already. Do we even have enough reasons to stay together. Why is it we never looked forward to see you. Why is it, we rather lay in bed than to see you each morning. We are not sure anymore. Perhaps we are masochist who likes to inflict pain on ourselves for pleasure. We have everything to complete you, but somehow you never seem to be completed. We are tired with dealing with other people who compared us with other people. However, with you, its something that can be dealt. I know you want to be finished too. U, lets work together, we can move on after this. I know you can’t wait for your next transformation, so why not. We can do it U.
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