Monday, July 13, 2009

Paranoid

I feel very paranoid, I feel people are watching every move I make in this lab. They are slowly judging me and talking about me. I feel they are comparing everything about me, and knit picking everything that I do. Who knows what is behind those smile and smirks. I just don't feel as safe or as secure as I used too. Each request seems like a threat sometimes. I don't like it, I don't like this feeling. First time in the longest time, I could not sleep. I closed my eyes, toss and turned, switch on the air conditioning (but kept it at 26 degrees Celsius), switch from Kain Pelikat to Short and still could not fall asleep. My mind was full with thoughts, of everything from relationships, to family, to motor oil, to TOPO, to thesis, and to me. Too much thoughts, too vivid, to early in the night. So I made myself a cup of Milo and played The Sims 2; Bon Voyage. To escape my reality, I jumped into virtual reality so that I could control what happens. Still even in the game, there are somethings that even I can't change. Hmm.. it's almost over...
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