Life's a bitch

Yes life is a bitch

And so is my sister, I told her about my problem with my professor. He like to assume I know everything. He was supposed to teach me how to properly handle, inject and ethunized a mice but NOOOOO he said to just observed what he is doing. He won't let me ask any questions. I told this to my sister and she said "you can't work with people" I was like WHaT THE FUCk BITCH. She said a professor can show you everything, you must learned on your self. Ok fine, for learning the basics of parasitology and immunology Ok I get it, but the practical side of research, WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO TEACH ME THAT!! KUTPM does not provide adequate lab training to their students. This is the time where the my supervisor should help with my shortcomings, I had help with my co supervisor and he helped me through the lab animal stage. STuPid bitch,

Does she think pilots or surgeon learned to their job by just looking at the surgery and then follow some diagrams from a book. If there were diagrams on mice handling, killing and innoculating I would have it damm it. bItCH. all talk, that is exactly what she does in human resources telling people what to do. Sorry in the house, her superiority does not work one bit ok.

Today sucks so bad, I feel very edgy and snappy, hence the above paragraphs on the bitch. Right now I want someone who will listen to every single rants and ramble that I make and still keep a straight face. I really need to find that someone. Its just getting harder now.

Hot air

I feel very bloated today, maybe its the ice cream soda i had for sahur :p. Anyways its monday and tomorrow I have another journal presentation, every week its some other damn journal presentation. I feel like vomitting blood full of journal presentation because I am just so sick and tired of presenting something that is not related to my research.

My mice infected with my parasite are ill, which is great new because that is exactly what they are supposed to do. Anyways prof called me again and wanted to continue on with the other phases of our research. I was like DAMMIT, its only first semester and I am already 1/4 with my thesis. For god sake I have course work to be done and its a lot harder than I thought. He just insist of doing it as fast as possible, for him easy lah for me its like water rising up to my nose.

I felt fatter today, probably because of the soda, I feel bloated, I feel I could sink down to the ocean if someone threw me to sea. I been taking a lot of pictures with the camera and as one author of the blogs put it "a cam whore". Yup I guess that makes me a whore too, a cam whore of course.

Well, got to finished reading and understanding the journal for tomorrow. I totally forgot I had a presentation tomorrow. Struggle la hari ni, hopefully my mice wont die on me.. if not I will die too.

Squeezing too tight

Today is another day where I spent half of my Saturday in the workshop, so far its has been 3 straight week that I have been in the workshop every Saturday. No, my car is not a common problematic Proton ;). Its an old 17 year old Mercedes Benz 190e. It was passed down to me from my parents for me to use to go to UPM. We fixed the rear shock absorber because it was not working, the car was lowered even though there is no passenger in the rear seat. Now the arms that are holding the spring and shock absorber have reached its maximum use. The car creaks like an old house, whenever the rear left wheels hit a bump. Oh yeah the total cost for the absorber is RM470 : o....

At least I don't have to pay it, my Research assistant salary is only enough for me to ride a motorcycle, but since the car is at home, just sitting there, might as well used it right and keep it in a good condition. It's a Mercedes dammit, and its one of the previous models that were labelled indestructable, because it can last up to years (in my case 17 years of abuse) with out failing. Although there have been problems here and there, but its better than getting a crappy new old Proton Saga (that car has been around even longer than my Mercedes, over 20 years, they just keep producing it because Malaysians like cheap aerobacks : p)

Anyways I been taking a lot of useless pictures with my new digital camera, and perhaps if I rajin to edit the ugly (or x rated one ;) ) to be posted here. I have two blogs which are the same, which is blogger.com and friendster.com, but it seems I can't load pictures to the friendster blog. Anyhow the camera is a Samsung brand and it has all the feature I want, including anti shake and video that records audio too. So ok lah, I started a collection of video diaries, and when I looked back at it, it reminds me of those reality TV shows where they have a confession room and you spill your guts out. Anyway it a great way for me to be vain and reflect at my self literally ;)

I have these cycles of should I say obsessions. Its either video games, hair, or relationships. Right now all 3 seem to be working together against me. I loved playing The Sims2 because its fun to be able to be a different character in a game and either messed up or strive for the best in their lives. I colored my hair about a month ago, and its started to turn oranged a bit, it used to be beige sand ash ... or something now it just looks orange. I would blame for the frequent shampoo, but I have to because I have a dandruff problem. If I don't wash my hair every other day, flakes would be flaking off my scalp. I think its just nasty to have dandruff, I always try to check for dandruff but some time it will fall without me noticing it and then I would like freak out (EEEWWW gross mathafuker).

Right now I am also the relationship obsession stage, I only knew this person via sms and yet I have been smsing this person like crazy. If I were in the other line I would think, this guy is mental lah, always smsing me everyday. I can't help it, I am pretty bad at relationships, I always liked being solo and free but sometimes I also want to be with someone, but then sometimes I feel smothered in a relationship. Another weekness of mine, is I liked to moved the relationship as quickly as possible, meet today, dating tomorrow, married the next day, in bed after that, divorce next week...

Yah crazy, almost like my Sims2 life. I really need to slow down in pursuing someone and let things flow naturally and accept rejection. I have never been a player nor have I been in the dating scene often, heck I don't even like to lepak all that much. I am a homebody, just like to lepak, but then deep inside me I would just love to travel all over the world.

However right now I want to be in a relationship but I am afraid if I squeeze too tight I will loose it, so right now I have to focus on my other obsession so that my relationship or in a clearer context, the courting stage does not falter due to my aggressive and clinging nature.

So if I were to be in one, then it would be a blast but then if it does not happened, I would always have great hair and finally finish off every game I owned.

got my camera

yup i just bought my first item with my first hard earned money. i bought a digital camera. Now i can cam whore all i want. hehe

imagines i used to tease my little brother and sister for being a cam whore, now I am one too. In fact I will be the cam pimp

:D

Get Lost

Yup get lost...

I did, I went to IMR this morning and got lost going there and got lost again going back. I am totally hapless when it comes to travelling by car. I been there many times but I used a different road, you just change one signboard and I will definetly be lost.. again.

Anyways no matter it was fun, but my petrol lah habis, my car, telan minyak punya la banyak, but at least its free given to me from my parents. Anyways the mice are in good condition and Dr Ngah, my supervisor, has helped me a lot in setting up my research.

Anyways I checked my scale, and I lost 3kg. YEE HAW... and we have been only fasting for a couple of days. This is a lot better than walking on the thread mill. Maybe its because during nights in Ramadan, I was busy. I determined to go the mosque at least everyday and study a bit more.

Anyways, my bored and lonely spell has come again. It means I am again really bored and feeling really lonely. I have no loved ones other than family to loved with. I will definetly fall in love with anyone giving me the slightest attention, is how chronic this spell is. Right now I just reactivated my hotlink prepaid and started smsing people I haven't sms before. Hey I still got around 150 free sms. Its a shame to let it go to waste. I plan now to meet many of my online friends who lives nearby. Its time to meet them in person and find out if they are as friendly as they are online. I am just bored right now, I need to see life in a different perspective, that is why now i am starting to read other peoples blogs, whose life is 360 degrees different than mine. So... gonna keep reading other people's stuff.

Early in the morning

Yup boys and girls

Its 6.30 am by the time I am writing this. I was supposed to read up on my counting chamber shit, its a slide that is used so that we could count cells or in my case oocyte and tachyzoites under the microscope. I think the only time I have seen that thing is during my industrial training at HKL.

Oh well I have to go to pick up my mices and gave them new ones. God knows what the hell I am going to do with them. I want to call my prof up, but it seems that he is busy, or its just that I just don't want to see him. Its like everytime I see him, there is always something new to be done. Haiyo....

Its been fun reading other peoples blogs, I read two already. Haha two only you say...... well yeah I am not really a blog reader until now. Now I am searching for blogs to read in my spare (full ;p) time. Those first two blogs were really interesting to be read, its nice to know things outside my circle of friends. I want to find the book or something title "The Law of Attraction", one of its major points is that you will attract people who thinks, acts or have the same principle as you. So if you are nice, friendly, loves food kinda a person [oh wait that's me ;) ] you will tend to attract people with the same view.

I am always fascinated with the clubbing life, yup 23 and still haven't been into clubs. Well in my circle of friends, it's considered a taboo, a sin, but no one really know I have an evil side too. (Muaahhaaa). I am getting tired of doing my master, yup so suddenly, yah.... But then if I were to start working I would say the same damn thing. Seriously I really really need to pick a goal and stick it to the end. Although I did plan to study in the UK, I mean if I finished my masters well and then apply to become a tutor in UPM, I might have a chance to go the UK for 4 years to do my PhD.

But really, all I think about UK is the cars, the food, and basically just the UK life. I mean I have been introduced to American culture, since we have lived there for 3.5 years about 10 years ago, but that is old story. I want to embark to a journey to the west (fuh yo, mcm Fung Sai Yok...err this is that monkey character right :D) Anyways I have to stop man..... I haven't read my counting chamber crap...

See ya

Project

Oh crap, tomorrow I have to drive all the way to IMR to pick up two mice, one is infected with P. bergei, a malaria parasite and another is infected with T.gondii. So tomorrow I have to go there and pick up the mice and give the fresh ones. I am scared shit man, because I haven't learned how to inoculated the mice. If they die, before I am able to transfer the parasites from them to another batch of healthy mice. I will surely die woooo..

My project is on T.gondii but my prof has a project on P.berghei, he expects me to do both.. huhu sure want to die one. I just did my exam on helminth and I want to cry one. I really tabik (salute) those Americans who take masters and degree courses, because it is compulsory for them to take up seminars and classes along with their research. I tell you aaa, its damn hard man. Think twice before taking up a master course. I am thinking about taking up a PhD course in 2 year...gulp.

Who knows my plans have been changing ever since SPM. Maybe I will go to the UK, or maybe I will just become a regular tutor at UPM or go to other private colleges and become a lecturer. Haiya... instead of studying I am now blogging :p

terrible lah my work etiques, ok lah I want to study about P.berghei. Next time la ya whoever is reading this ;)

Fasting and cars

Yah lame title, so guyish and year 3 format, but what the hell, my damn blog my damn title ;)
Anyways its the second of Ramadan, and second day of fasting. So far everything is OK, except I feel I don't have enough sleep. I got to wake up for sahur (early morning breakfast) at 4.45am or I will go hungry all day. Actually I am not hungry that much through out the day, just damn sleepy man, I guess the lack of sugar in my blood cause my brain to shut down.

I just had my first master level test in medical helminthology, I thought it was kind of easy, but then during the test, it hit me. THIS IS A MASTER LEVEL TEST, no longer a diploma or bachelor level test. Those 5 marks are not as easy to score as they were then, in addition the passing mark is 65-70!!! SHIT!!! To add salt to the wound, I only could answer 3 out 4 compulsory short essay questions, that used to sound great when back in the diploma and degree years but CANNOT LAH NOW.... since the standard is much higher.. :(

I finally own the car and now it gives me problem :( or I think the mechanic does not know what to do.. I changed the condenser because it was leaking now the aircond is cool and there is no leaking, however now there is this screeching sound up front and then one of my radiator fan is not working!!! Only one is spinning, the other one is wedged to the bumper. I am damn angry man.... I spent last Saturday at the shop now going there again.... :(

First the scratched my car while installing the spoiler then they messed up my front hood opening mechanism now my radiator fan.. AIYO this is the life of owning a car man.......
I will show you guys the picture once I get my hands on a digital camera. Do you got any tips on which brand is good, I need something with antishake mechanism because I tend to get shaky when taking pictures

First Blog... NOT..

Yah this is supposed to be my first blog, my first open diary to the public.... NOT!!! I got one opened on friendster but god knows I damn lazy to do it. Why you say I making this one too, I dunno this place has a better format than friendster, even though I have friends there, I am not sure who is reading it because it does not have a counter or ID tag to identified who has been reading it. I can't wait to buy a digital camera so I can post all my pics here, but I have to be carefull, anything you post on the net will be immortalized forever... scary yah