I did my first Science Show today. Well perhaps I should say I was thrown into one, like how a mama bird teaches her young to fly, I was shoved to perform. It was unnerving and awkward since I was not really prepared but then performing mini shows felt the same way too. I got my ups and down but I was okay in the end. I was more pissed off that they made me tie the balloons for the experiments. My hands are not made to tie those damn balloons and I my hand got really cramped and I was furious because they still make me do it and they even recorded how I feverishly tried unsuccessfully tying the balloons.
The good thing is that they provided feedback on my presentation style. Mine is more laid back, more conversational, not really hyper, not really joking around. However, I still haven't found my flow for my science shows yet, like I have for my mini shows. Mini shows are different, the "spies" don't really pay attention at the mini shows or perhaps the level needed there is on par. Perhaps I under estimate the science shows, since I much prefer the cosy one on one presentation that I usually do for my mini shows.
I always hated to address a huge group of people, because I don't feel like I can connect with them individually. However I still have workshops to learn and conduct. It seemed like a smaller group but then its a whole different thing to do.
Anyhow, perhaps because of today's rage against the balloons in addition with office gossip along with staff quirks that gets borderline unbearable, makes me want to kill someone or at least bitch slap them. Well its only been 4 days and already I felt incompetent. Well one can always fake the confidence and I don't give a shit that they could see right through it, after all we are dealing with people who deal with visitors daily. Tomorrow is another day, I forgot to just ignore everything and just go along with all the madness.